Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML
Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML
Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Did she still get out of the ticket? I think we are all wondering that.
sunny013 8
Be careful what you wish for OP. You just might get it…
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Comments (91)
Raykyogrou03 12
oh god oh god oh god the image is burned in my brain, get it out..!!
aimeegoldberg 22
Thats karma for you...
carelessxdanger 9
why are all the girls complaining about cops beings pervs? i think that is wonderful as it works in our favor. i'd show **** anyday to avoid a ticket, especially traffic school (:
Insomnolence 1
Internalized sexism, I see.
Shadow9876 19
You need to stop.
Mackay92 14
you're where hoping someone was doing something dangerous...You're the type of cop is why some people don't trust/like the police
SunTzu2 9
You're a despicable dirty scumbag
lylotrezor 20
Well, it did take you a hell of a long time to get in, didn't it?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You've got some goals in life OP... Nice to see how you couldn't wait to abuse your role. You shouldn't be a cop at all.
Vegeto30294 19
He's not pulling people over to see a girl's breasts. He's pulling people over because it is his JOB to do so, and in the process, a girl would show her breasts to try to escape the ticket. No one ever said he wouldn't give the ticket anyway.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
He is still expecting / hoping for a woman to show some flesh to get out of it, which is incredibly misogynistic, and clearly fancies himself in that position of power. With such a mentality, he shouldn't be a cop at all.
SneezyBear 27
#131 oh for ****'s sake, hoping to see boobs = abusing power/misogynistic? Give me a break.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
# 143 > Yes thinking / expecting a woman will display her boobs to get out of paying a ticket is immature and misogynistic and it says a lot about his opinion on females (and yours since you seem to share his views). . The insulting way he described this elderly woman also says it all. That dude is supposed to have signed up to protect citizens, not to hope that he is going to experience the beginning of a cheap porno movie.
SneezyBear 27
#160 He is not expecting a woman to do that, nor is he thinking a woman will. He is merely hoping for it. Nearly every human being has sexual fantasies, some of which are inappropriate. Having inappropriate sexual fantasies is a trait shared by men AND women and is NOT 'misogynistic'. Anywhere between 30-60% of women, for example, have a rape fantasy of some kind. That doesn't make them any less of a victim if they get actually get raped in real life, just like having a fantasy of seeing nice boobs on the job does not make this any less of an FML because an old woman showed you hers without your consent. Both are still victims of sexual assault and sexual harrassment respectively. Funny thing is, if the gender roles were reversed comments like yours would be quickly buried as 'victim blaming', but because it's a male cop that doesn't apply. Gotta love what the 21st century now classifies as 'sexism' and 'misogynism'.
heaverlock 8
look on the bright side at least it wasnt your grandma old breasts
Gondii 3
If you are looking for a job that gets you a copious amount of bribery cleavage, try being a teaching assistant in university during exams.
SecretUserName 5
This is why I hate cops. swear to uphold the law my ass, all you wanna do is mess around. It's no wonder people in our society have stopped trusting them.