CH
United States
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
htothecr
United States
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Anonymous
Close but no cigar
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
a genius
United States
This is lit
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Namnack
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
Netherlands
Muscle memory
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
kaycie_lynn
United States
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Anonymous
Athens, Greece
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
david
United States
Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Michelle
New Zealand
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
97
United States
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Top comments
overkill_78 4
Pretend? **** that, light that bitch up and be cool. No one else smokes breadsticks, they're too hip with their cigarettes and marijuana and crack and things. Be unique, dammit!
fireandice27 0
I do that all the time :D Actually those chocolate wafer sticks are pretty cool to fake cigar smoke with too. And they taste better than breadsticks
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Comments (14)
bored690 0
LOL!!! A bread stick?
xelectrickiss 0
you need to get your butt over to MLIA. we accept you there with open arms.
TheOtherNewest1 6
This is a MLIP (My Life Is Pathetic). In the words of that army man on Weeds: "Suck yourself."