Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found that the product we shipped and what the salesman billed don't match. It's my job to flag such issues, as they cost the company money. The salesman asked me to shut up and be his accomplice, as it was done to please the client. The sales manager had to agree, but said I was causing trouble. FML
Today, a client wanted me to change the design I'd given him, again. I've been working with this client for a week now, giving him many designs throughout the week, and he rejected all of them. After all of the changes he wanted, he said that I should just use the first design I sent to him. FML
Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML
Today, I had an appointment with the CEO of a big company about a game I'm going to make for them. The first thing I did after sitting down was to throw my coffee all over his desk. FML
Today, my superior, who went to meet with client yesterday, told me I needed to prepare a detailed list of changes to enhance the design of a marketing video, and refused to tell me the client's feedback they received, then told me I should figure it out myself. It's the weekend, and they want it by Monday morning. FML
Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML
Today, my boss gave me some mentorship. She told me, "You need to learn to let people do things for you. Until then, I'm going to micromanage your project because I want it done my way." FML
Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML
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Top comments
Ardos 3
Go with the chairman.
DocBastard 40
This can only be settled one way: Cage Match. To the death.
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Comments (112)
sean5 0
Step 1.Get them high as ***. Step2. Get them in a closed room together step3. Video tape them fuking. Step4 take over the company. Step.5 do what the *** u want.
DocBastard 40
Your plan is pure genius. I see no way that it can possibly fail. You are clearly a criminal mastermind.
Pelreskovich 11
Good to see I wasn't the only one thinking that, Doc.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Love your subtle-at-first-yet-******'-OBVIOUS-at-the-end sarcasm doc
warrior97 5
*****
sean5 0
I spell *** like this cuz yolo bitch
sean5 0
I spell *** like dis cuz yolo bitch
swedeNix 13
Tell them to come to you, and ask Both at the same time and let them argue about it, Did that against My Bosses à while ago
JustCallMePic 2
Sounds like a test... The only right action is to passionately blow their man goo all over your face.
anniekins 6
There obviously is a lack of communication between the company heads. You should inform them of the inconsistency!
mylife47 0
They need more head :]
WaSiSimiLang 8
Rule number one in offices... Clean the weapon of the guy who has the bigger gun. It may not secure your position, it may not please the smaller gunner, but godammit it's the best bet to survival. Good luck soldier.
srgsk9 9
And you said nothing? YDI if you didn't say anything, because my guess is you had one meeting, then the other, and you could have said something at some point.
mecca512 4
Go with the top dog bro.
NellyFC35 19
I guess you can't win for loozing
RedPillSucks 33
Dilbert?
meggieeee51 9
Do nothing