Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
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Top comments
FrEsHpRiNcE916 0
like father like son!
buzzerbeeeeee 0
if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.
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Comments (211)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Awww man your dad's a winner.
kassieparis 8
aww if I was a man I wouldve punched him ;) xx
Ludii_fml 0
you guys are that close? hehe gotcha
misfitSuperStar 0
Why aren't you buying your OWN sperm-catchers, op?? ydi!!
abcnonamecba 0
because he has extra small barely secured on by an elastic band :)
Ali_Br_fml 33
so, did you need small or extra small op? Lolz, close relationship you 2 share. Buy your own next time.
LOL_Noobs 0
is this fml saying he's gay? and is having surprise butt sex with his dad?
DarkWaffle 0
suprise butt secks?? lolol
GerardoMx 0
like father, like son
guiltypleasure12 0
don't worry i hear that wonderstick size is hereditary.
BananaSticker 0
I'm sure he was just joking OP. Besides, this is only an FML if your dick really is small.
ellielovesyuh 0
awh u beat me to it 26! lol xD
andruha1123 5
WTF, this fml is so weird
marinus_fml 20
hahah 12, I see what you did there :D
chillaux 0
hahahahaha 12
DocBastard 40
The second extra small peepee FML in the past 24 hours. That's more than you can shake a stick at.
mathews1 0
u r hott
TeeHee124 0
He didn't proceed to ask you, He just god damn asked you
d3adb3for3d3ath 0
Win for your dad! Lose for you! haha
the_flirtt 0
I'm guessing ur not packing heat ?
TheJaQ 0
what's the rush to buy new condoms when your old condoms are apparently not getting used?
brittyyy083 0
is there a reason you can't buy your own condoms?
bubbarific 0
close relationship? buyin condoms 2gether? i smell WINCEST!!!!!!!!!!!
JScherz28 4
nice op
Ludii_fml 0
74 yeah...
Nylecroc 0
that's one father son relationship #closemaybetooclose
bigblue95 0
i dont understand. has ur dad been examing ur dick when fully erect.
thisisLAUREN 0
LMFAO
lovesuckz123 0
haha x] i love you're dad.
smiles4life 1
ok ummm i know you said you have a close relationship with your dad but does it really need to be so close that he knows the size of your dick? :0 lolz :p
gIsaac 0
#12 is king!
Avenger_fml 0
lmfao his is probably small too
matrasveer 1
Sounds more like: Help, I can't take a ******* joke. FML
Boygenius50 8
OH NO!!!!!!!!! Your dad has a sense of humor! FYL indeed, moron. Apparently senses of humor skip a generation, because if you had one then thus FML wouldn't exist
mikehaddad 0
WIN
yeeder1 0
hahah 26
The_Fonz_fml 0
112 why do you type that thing at the end? #questioningyourstyle
Vagmanec 0
#1 it sounds like he was joking, #2 why does your dad have to buy your condoms? If you're old enough to use them, you should be able to buy them for yourself. and #3, if you have condoms so long that they expire, you probably have no business buying more. Those things last for several years, if they're going bad, you're obviously not getting any
1personinthiswor 0
#133 that goes for pretty much everyone on FML.
babygirl995 0
so... which is it? small or extra small? just kidding. you don't have to answer if you don't wanna. :)
babygirl995 0
81 has a very good point
thatonek1d 0
it's a joke dude. father son bonding. damnshit.
turtles1321 0
omfg im pretty sure by "expiring" he meant he used it . sometimes i wonder the IQ of some people(no offense)
skizzars 2
9: you're really hot(;
wafflez333 0
ummm just how close is you and your dads relationship?!?!?!? xD
shihtzupup98 3
THANK GOD mona_is_here isn't here today!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD
_football4life_ 0
u have really pretty eyes
xx_constant_xx 0
...?
NameTitleHere 0
If you 2 have a close relationship then he was probably joking. So this really isn't a FML. If you needed extra small.. shoulda said you would have gotten a large if it wasn't fr his genetics... XD
linx468 8
Wow, if he meant that in a malicious way then he is an idiot.
lickmyjock 0
well I hope you stopped him... *puts on sunglasses* short. yeeeeeeeeeah!
Ludii_fml 0
ahahaha win
icantmakeupmymin 0
bahahahhahahahahahahhahahaha!!
TXjuggalo972 6
you an your big words ;(
ahti546 11
Shoulda been like "if I inherited your genes then I'm gonna need extra extra small."
snbr91 3
FYL for getting laid so infrequently that your condoms expire. Those things last for like 4 years haha
torilovesyou7 0
hahaha that's funny :)
FrEsHpRiNcE916 0
like father like son!
Metalman69 0
perhaps he only asks because he do has a small dick? not an fml at all. my mother often enough asks when im gonna keel over so i stop bugging her. ydi
kidclarke 15
LOL.
tserroforrest 0
#2 that is an awesome game and i still play it today ... im 15 so no i didn't grow up with the game if thats what your thinking
GDIalex 11
In Soviet Russia there's only one size of condoms. Guess, how many "X"'s there before the "L"?
Ludii_fml 0
If "L" stands for "Little" in Soviet Russia, then lotzzz ;o
stangdude 0
^WIN
stangdude 0
^WIN
Cinn_fml 23
Maybe he was joking?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Short comments lately, Cinn. You're not letting the haters get to you, are ya?
Cinn_fml 23
Nah, Irish. I just occaisionally don't have a lot to say. I know it sounds unlikely. :)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Ah, good. Just makin' sure. I'm feeling bitchy today, so I'll run my mouth enough for the both of us till I can nap. :}
5t3ff1k4h 47
Wait. *dramatic pause* Cinn, with very little to add? JaneDoe in a bitchy mood? *another dramatic pause* WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!?!?!?! :D Sorry, had to.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Lulz at Steff. Nah, pendatik. nerds is way nicer than even the nice TIJD. ;)
cristy91 33
don't take it that bad, maybe he thinks penis size is genetic
misfitSuperStar 0
yeah, maybe it's REALLY fyml (f*** your mom's life)!!
irritatedone 5
it is genetic