Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Today, all three of my meals consisted of two Hot Pockets. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML
Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, in a rush, I attempted to microwave leftover pizza slices. Unbeknownst to me, I accidentally hit the 'defrost' button, turning the pizza into a lukewarm soggy mess. I guess pizza should never be reheated in 'thaw mode'. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
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Top comments
SnazzyPotter 17
At least you didn't burn your right boob
guineagirl 18
always wait at least 30 seconds
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Comments (117)
SuzukiDangerous 5
Dude hot pockets are so bad for you. They recently have been pulled because the factory they are made at was shit down for unsanitary conditions. If you're hungry, EAT REAL FOOD.
aaaa_fml 13
Seriously, people, learn how microwaves work. They always cook everything from the outside in.
EbyKat 16
Learn to use the power settings. I pretty much always cook things at fifty percent power for twice as long It does take longer but it beats the usual burned and frozen at the same time.
Omniprism 15
Your microwave is funky. Maybe cover it up with a paper towel also.
RebelNikita 3
note to self: "dont eat hot pockets, because u never have anyways n because of too many fmls about it...ohhh & d fact that its pure garbage"
nkboggan 8
i actually burned a hot pocket trying to make sure it would cook through. the middle was still cold. and yet i can't stop eating them!
Namenlos_fml 20
It sounds like you used a microwave. It may take longer, but using an oven or toaster oven is totally worth it.
AlexRen 21
Hot pocket side effect: Diarrhea. If you didn't get the side effect you're lucky.
ehpanda 1
that's what you get for rating hot pockets.
captainObviously 15
Pocket like its hottt...