Today, I'm sitting at the vet's office while they run expensive tests on my cat. This is to make sure he doesn't have a bowel obstruction from eating the condom that my partner and I used last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML
Today, after seeing my cat struggle to use the litterbox and produce nothing for two days, I caved and took him to the emergency vet, fearing a UTI. It wasn't. $200 and 2 Lyft rides later, he's stoned out of his mind and peeing just fine. FML
Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML
Today, I was nervous about taking my cat to the vet for a UTI, because money’s a little tight. Turns out the antibiotics weren’t that expensive, but he wants at least $1,000 for dental surgery she apparently “needs.” FML
Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML
Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I have to give my cat medicine to help with his constipation. He doesn't like it. On the other hand, my other cat, who isn't constipated, loves it. This may prove to be challenging. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
You just reminded me of a joke. So this man goes to the pharmacy and buys 6 jumbo boxes of condoms, the cashier wants to know what he's going to do with them all. He replies "I taught my dog how to eat them, so now whenever he goes to the bathroom, he ***** in plastic baggies!"
Allie614032 34
*bowel... and YDI. If you've taken on the responsibility of a pet, you need to provide a safe space for them. And sometimes, that means cleaning up after yourself (ugh, how difficult).
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Comments (21)
Fake Profile 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This story is absolute bullshit.