Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
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Top comments
mozeltov 7
why were you beating your pet ferret?
CitrusGirl 0
42- That comment was made so much better by the cat in your picture.
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Comments (214)
theladyofepic 3
At first I thought you meant actually spanking a ferret.
HeavyMetalViking 0
I'm still waiting for boners to say something about him and his pet possum. Lol.
htb2050 11
um. just one question. OP is from Saudi Arabia where all most all people are Muslims so lets assume that you are one and still you were beating ur ferret in bathroom and your dad didn't say anything about it after finding out.
Slimma 20
Spanking the ferret..oh goodness. Really ... if you can't say you were just straight up jacking off, masturbating, but you have to try to be "cute" and say you were spanking the ferret... keep your hands off yourself.
FreebirdIII 1
It starts by spanking a ferret in the bathroom, then choking a chicken in the den. Before you know it, your beating a monkey in the street.
PinkRoboto 0
ok when you said spanking the ferret I thought you meant you were literally spanking a ferret and I had no clue where this fml was going
imhere6969 1
freakin wow ydi
RainbowHeadache 2
When I read this I really thought you were hitting a ferret before I finished reading. At least your dad is cool about it instead of completely awkward & weirded out.
Mishal_fml 5
spanking the ferret? haha never heard that one before
ArielTheMermaid 17
w.t.c?? spanking the ferret........thats new