Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML
Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed two weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer, so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past three days. FML
Today, I had a real coffee again after being sick for two weeks. It didn't taste so good, though. Just like the one I had yesterday. Well, I thought, maybe my taste has changed? Maybe I just need to get used to it again? No, it was just that the milk had gone bad three days ago. FML
Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML
Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I took a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted something rotten. Turns out my grandma knows I drink her soy milk, so she swapped it with expired chicken broth. FML
Today, the host family that I'm staying with in China gave me a small milk box to drink. It tasted a bit tangy and sour, but I thought that was probably just the taste of milk in China. Trying to be polite, I practically chugged the whole box. Later, I found out that it had expired 20 days ago. FML
Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML
Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML
Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
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Top comments
GenevieveL 0
Gross. Clean your room.
athiest_pope 0
what was a glass of milk doing there for a week?
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Comments (128)
franfran_fml 0
OP, you couldn't have worded this FML any worse.
ozymandias_fml 0
YDI for being a disgusting slob.
jillz 0
I can't believe a woman wrote this. Leaving a dirty dish sitting around for that long seems more like something a male would do. (No offense guys, but most of you are slobs. Deny all you want. "Us girls" know the truth. lol) So...the OP only states that "it's been sitting there for a week" but she doesn't specify as to whether or not she's the one who put that there. Perhaps she's married and her husband placed his glass there a week ago. She might have stubbornly refused to clean up after that slob of a man in hopes of him finally noticing and cleaning up after himself, only to mistake his old glass for her new one. Or...it's hers. If so...Damn OP, clean up after yourself! Y so totally DI.
plutosaplanet 0
well im assuming if she is married that there would be either 2 nightstands or at least 1 on only 1 side of the bed. i have never put anything on the other nightstand bc it isnt my side of the bed and its not convienent. unfortunately, i believe she left it there herself =(
The_Sadist 13
Um...my ex-wife was the slob between the two of us and didn't clean worth a damn. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and other chores. There were numerous times I threatened to quit my job and become a house husband if the chore duties weren't going to be shared.
andy725 0
# 33 you clearly have not gotten laid in a while
yourkiddingright_fml 0
Being a man I will have to agree with you!
letitbe56 0
Assuming that women are neat and tidy and men are slobs is actually pretty sexist. It doesn't paint either gender in a good light.
Googalitarian 0
Even if it was her husband, no one leaves milk out for a week on PRINCIPLE. That's like a house being on fire and saying "I'm not going to put it out, it wasn't my fault." By the way YDI, OP. A week? For serious?
plutosaplanet 0
where did you read it was chocolate milk?
PhillyFox 0
Eww. Maybe you should've cleaned up the old glass of milk instead of leaving it on the table?! That's gross!
aback 5
There's usually a smell difference, too. If your house reeks so bad you didn't notice, it's time to call the EPA.
hippoz64 2
YDI, for being a slob and not cleaning up after yourself!
_Haiithuuur 0
Maybe if you cleaned your damn room once in awhile, you wouldn't have problems like that. (Y)
xCrackerx 3
They need to do way instain mother>
yourkiddingright_fml 0
You definitely asked for it. My only question is, how could you not feel the lumps of curdled milk bacause after 3 weeks it would be somewhat solid!!