Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML
Today, I've realized that my cat doesn't give me the time of day, unless I'm trying to do something that's difficult with a cat present, or at the very least makes it impossible for me to give him attention. Then he's all over me. It's a vicious cycle, with no end in sight. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, I saw my cat lying in the bathroom. A few seconds later, I noticed that he looked like he was dead. After going into a panic and quickly running to make sure he was okay, he woke up and glared at me. Later, he was sleeping in the exact same position, and I once again though he was dead. This cat, I swear… FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I once again came to the realization of how boring my life is when I noticed that the stray cat in my yard walks in a really silly manner, and I watched it for what seemed like an eternity, utterly fascinated, until it left. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Cats don’t have the same expressions as humans. Your cat is probably just chilling and has no idea some idiot from another species is misinterpreting their “expression”. Your cat loves you, and make sure you give him/her love back.
RichardPencil 32
Oh, there's a reason. You just need to own up to it.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Oh, there's a reason. You just need to own up to it.
SirEnigM0nk 22
The cat needs FOOD...badly, lest you find yourself "sleeping with the mice."
Marcella1016 32
Cats don’t have the same expressions as humans. Your cat is probably just chilling and has no idea some idiot from another species is misinterpreting their “expression”. Your cat loves you, and make sure you give him/her love back.
Yudith 28
With any luck, your cat could become the next source for working place memes.
idragosani 17
That's like... every cat.