Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, I learned how it feels when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot then landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML
Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML
Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, my mom told me I was worthless and could not do anything by myself. Determined to prove her wrong I attempted to install the AC that I had neglected to put in for the past month. While placing it on the window it fell through landing on her prized roses and breaking into pieces. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
So instead of feeling like a prick for breaking your mom's plant you felt the prick for saving it. I hope for your sake it wasn't one of those cacti with the ultra-fine thorns in it. Those are the worst to get out!
responses 0
I hate cacti.
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Comments (84)
RedPillSucks 33
You thorny prick
andydawg8891 0
MLIA is down, so it's time to come back here! (after a 4 month hiatus)
SuicideBomber 0
CaptainAndy!!! *glomps*
Imaonaise 0
Yes... We must unite here. (I'm Mao's clone by the way.)
underthesea663 0
*Has never been commenting here before* Weird.
dugumit 0
little pricks are always a pain in the ass. btw no.20 your drink is too small.
TheFMLWhore 0
Penis.
iheartpie 0
My ****** is filthy.
andydawg8891 0
Wanna wash it with my penis?
Imaonaise 0
Oh no, I thought llamafishes had clean ones.
iheartpie 0
Yes.
underthesea663 0
They don't.
TheFMLWhore 0
I'm out, this is boring.
Imaonaise 0
Yeah, FML fails. On a side note, the rate limit on here is *horrible*
andydawg8891 0
Hey, my MLIA friends. I'm going to try Average Wizard instead. FML sucks hard.
stewpididiot 11
Try using duct tape or packing tape like waxing. works pretty well...
navybrat 1
Nice save though man!