Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML
Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML
Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend, who cheated on me a year ago, goes on vacations every month with a new guy, who she doesn’t mind hooking up with other girls, sometimes they even do it together. I work at a minimum wage job and when I was with her, she was one of the most possessive people I knew. FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
So, what's your amazing job that entitles you to belittle janitors? No wonder your girlfriend called you a loser: Your ex has nore balls than you. Grow a pair, and stop acting like a little boy.
SteelCladAngel 0
LOL asshole you completely deserved that....now image how much worse your life would suck if your current gf left you for your ex gf :)
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Comments (179)
theonlysweetpea 10
What a dick! I hope you get laid off
scrapmetal58 9
And never laid again!
eggy911 7
you know, there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with being a janitor. in fact, my mom is a janitor and she just got a raise to about 3000$ a month and that's just at one place, when she does at least 5, so I'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with it.. and I'm sure that if the place you worked at didn't have a janitor, it would be pretty disgusting
Caamano 3
marine welders tend to have shorter than average life spans rub that in her face:p
mmhk 2
PWNED.
ilovecookies83 0
That's what you get for being a jealous douche bag and assuming you were better off than her.
Lynne2 0
CARMA!!!
5t3ff1k4h 47
It's karma*. Don't type the word if you can't spell it.
MissAwesomeness 4
your current GF is right. you ARE a loser. and ydi.
Daboomboom 9
ok stop with callin this guy stuff. his ex could be a cheater or anything that caused the breakup therefore it's understandable. and if it makes you feel better dude, it's a very dangerous job so maybe you won't have to worry about her anymore. ps, your current gf is a bitch and more, dump her
Katharhs 2
You talk like you're defending him. If you're his friend, he'll sell you out in a heart beat just to save his own ass. There is a reason why he doesn't have a best friend.
griffendorgirl 0
did u break up with her because if u did u deserve it
Katharhs 2
OMG... I am a best friend of the OP's ex. I cannot believe he posted this here. I was there when the "incident" happened. And he was more condescending than he portrayed himself here. I read the comments especially #95, and I decided to tell you guys a little bit more about her relationship with him. He dated my best friend in secondary school. They dated for 1 and a half years. He broke up with her after our finals [He broke up with her because she refused to sleep with him]. My best friend did not cheat on him. He cheated on her, and treated her like shit during the time they were together. It's not like she was perfect. She does have her flaws [she can take 3 hours to reply one message] but it never justified the way she was treated. And I hated her for a while for sticking with him. When she told me she got a welding job I was initially against it. Knowing how dangerous it is. But seeing how she loves what she was doing, I guess it's ok. The quality of life is not how long you live. But how you live it. And if she ever dies at her job, there is comfort in knowing she died doing something she loved. I just sincerely pray from the bottom of my heart that nothing ever happens to her.
goshpeople 4
Sweet. I love it when people come on here to explain more about the posted FMLs (assuming they're not some strange person making up stories). The unanswered questions get cleared up. Too bad you posted this so late. Most people won't see it.
kombucha_fml 8
yeah thanks for explaining, it actually was interesting although I'm reading stuff about people I'll never know. strange world.
5t3ff1k4h 47
99 - It's nice you took the time to write all that, but what makes you think anyone's going to believe you're that close to the situation? How many people are going to believe you know OP and company? None.
Ahkoifish 0
99 - I would thumb-up your comment if I could from my phone /:
5t3ff1k4h 47
To all those who thumbed me down, you know it's incredibly unlikely this guy knows OP.
MorgensMan 0
i agree, because there are billions of people in the world and its soo unlikely that 99 knows the OP and this just makes you think, is this person a creeper making up stories or are they telling the truth so i completely agree
5t3ff1k4h 47
138 - Thank you. At least someone thinks realistically here. I'm not saying I'm positive this guy doesn't know OP. It's just unlikely. Look it up, people.
Lachiew 11
That was nice #99. You really know how to speak form the bottom of your heart.