Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML
Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML
Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend, who cheated on me a year ago, goes on vacations every month with a new guy, who she doesn’t mind hooking up with other girls, sometimes they even do it together. I work at a minimum wage job and when I was with her, she was one of the most possessive people I knew. FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
So, what's your amazing job that entitles you to belittle janitors? No wonder your girlfriend called you a loser: Your ex has nore balls than you. Grow a pair, and stop acting like a little boy.
SteelCladAngel 0
LOL asshole you completely deserved that....now image how much worse your life would suck if your current gf left you for your ex gf :)
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Comments (179)
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
don't worry she'll get killed soon so no problem there
Sgt_M_G 0
wow your an asshole
spartan522114 0
True story
Molord1 0
53- you never finished your sentence. what does his asshole do???
ammmeor 4
eh, she may be right
omgmike2345 0
hahadouche
OhzTP 7
I hate when all of these FMLs about karma and exs are a revolved around money. if you dumped them you obviously don't want to spend your life with them regardless of their income.
o76923 8
The fact that you care means you're pretty shallow.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
LOL. You f*cking deserve that one! You know better than to talk to women like that. Now she's better than you financially. YDI, Loser.
redneck_Romeo 4
some women deserve that kind of treatment. seen plenty of women who do.
TallMist 32
And do tell, 94, how OP's ex deserves to be belittled. I'd love to know how that applies to OP's ex.
Virginia6810 16
if an FML is the result of someone assuming something, they deserve it.
o76923 8
According to O*Net, she probably got at least a bachelors degree to do that. How did you not pick up on what she was doing for those 4 years? On a semi-related note, what are you doing for a profession that is only making you $10k per year (1/7th what an average Marine Engineer makes).
awardZu 0
OP cleans the ball pit at Burger King, lol.
raebeglan 7
I like how much research you put into your comment! haha it's inspiring :)
TheMaestro 4
She's a marine welder he said, which is only like 30k...odd.
kissingdeath 0
ba da ba ba ba! I'm loving it
TheSilentLoner 4
I looked it up too, and in most places she may make as little as 30 thousand a year.
PeachyJinx 7
I have no sympathy for you at all. I am now assuming you're in the process of growing a new pair of balls since your old ones were just pwned. YDI. But FYL for being you >.>
TheNewGuy03 29
i think there's something somewhat attractive about a woman who can do manual labor. also, were you completely oblivious of your former girlfriend's ambitions while you were dating her? anyway, you should avoid ******** on janitors, because they deal with the (literal) shit that you are apparently incapable of dealing with. as they say: "don't hate; congratulate." you've successfully mastered the art of being an elephantine douche. |the kid|
sugaboo 1
LMAO @ elephantine douche!!
eee559 0
WTF is this dr. phill??
barlessprison 16
I am convinced that the people who said FYL are drunk. You totally deserve it, asswipe.