Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML
Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML
Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend, who cheated on me a year ago, goes on vacations every month with a new guy, who she doesn’t mind hooking up with other girls, sometimes they even do it together. I work at a minimum wage job and when I was with her, she was one of the most possessive people I knew. FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
So, what's your amazing job that entitles you to belittle janitors? No wonder your girlfriend called you a loser: Your ex has nore balls than you. Grow a pair, and stop acting like a little boy.
SteelCladAngel 0
LOL asshole you completely deserved that....now image how much worse your life would suck if your current gf left you for your ex gf :)
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Comments (179)
juicyglamgirl24 3
you are such a jerk, no wonder your not together anymore.
budd28 0
sucks for u
848901 0
Wow...you are a loser, lol!
snafu63 0
I've never seen a janitor wearing overalls
Katharhs 2
Exactly! He just assumed and made an ass of himself. And forgot his girlfriend's mom is a janitor.
summerhot_fml 2
hahahahahaha to 126!!
XxThrasherxX 0
smooth move furgeson
fadingfaith 4
At least she didn't dump you.
iloveshh23 2
this made my day! sorry op :)
Katharhs 2
at #138, I'm a frequent reader of FML. And singapore is a small country. Never expected he will post it here. funny as shit. He also failed to mention the reason why his current girlfriend called him a loser. Her mom works as a janitor.
XoRoxybabe615Xo 0
karma is a B!+ch