Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML
Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I was greeting some guests when I fell into the tray of tea and biscuits in front of them, with two cups of tea directly drenching my hair. They didn't laugh, they didn't chuckle, but my sister was laughing too hard and too much. I now smell like tea. FML
Today, I walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment, dropped my backpack on the couch, and started complaining about work. A complete stranger then walked out of the kitchen holding a sandwich, saw me, then yelled "HELP!" I apologized, grabbed my bag, and somehow took his TV remote with me. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner for the first time. The place was full of his ex's stuff, books on the shelves, makeup in the bathroom, clothes in the closet and even shoes on the floor. Not to mention creepy plush toys staring at me. She left him 8 years ago. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Is he Zoidberg?
nickob96 25
Well then...that escalated quickly
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Comments (83)
LadyLuck93 20
Broke the couch? wtf did he like jump up on it or something.
guss5441 18
Well than i guess you shouldnt tell people to be at home but how were you auppose to know
brocho 26
I would like to think that the majority of people aren't that stupid or inconsiderate.
tantanpanda 26
The expression "make yourself at home" implies that you should get comfortable. I'm damn sure you can get comfortable without destroying things. Now the chocolate and pantry... well, that's kind of OP's fault. OP should have set limits for the snacks department.
Qualm 6
Did you not watch him?
Rkikkas9713 25
Assuming you let him, YDI. If he did all of this while you were out of the room, then FYL. I personally think that we need a few more details to accurately give you a proper judgement.
MooseKnuckle503 11
What is there to know? She picked up a dude to bang out, obviously on the couch. Whilist she freshened up he had at the kitchen
AlysoninAlaska 19
He sounds like a special kind of stupid.
tormcn 26
Pretty sure he wouldn't do that at home. You've been taken advantage of.
Honest_Guy 10
idk, talk to him and try to get him to fix all the wrong doings
brocho 26
Kick his ass out.
brocho 26
Kick his ass out. Seriously, you don't have to put up with that shit. That's extremely rude and disrespectful. "Make yourself at home" isn't synonymous with "trash the place".
niallo 23
You need to have used those two magic words. "Get Out ". Exactly how long did it take them to destroy the place and empty the pantry. I believe this is a YDI. Unless they were left alone for hours, there is no excuse. You didn't even call them a friend, you said acquaintance.