Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was touring a house I’m interested in when one of the two realtors stepped out for a minute and never came back. My purse was stolen from my car. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML
Today, after getting booked off work for being sick, I go to work anyway. On the way home, I stop by a colleagues fairwell, being the paranoid type of guy I make sure my car is locked about 3-4 times and head in. Later I get home to find my laptop has been stolen from my boot with my medication. FML
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
Let me guess, you loaded them in the car in such a way that everything was visible from outside of the car.
lilxsexii 4
Someone did go! but saw your car and thought it was better.
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Comments (111)
afrye97 0
Ah man i would HATE TO BE YOU!
NumNumNum 0
So how were you able to post this up if they stole everything in your car?
19jjrc 1
Omagash, I can't stop ******* laughing. Incredible story.
TypicuL 0
Shoulda just stayed home i guess...
thefuckinloser 6
No shit? you must have some kick ass prescriptions , should have at least kept the money on you,
thuginlike 7
it sounds like 1 of the funniest movies i ever seen
ohmandapants 17
Isn't there usually someone present at all times during an open house? I'm sure nothing would have been stolen.
artmastr 0
I knew it! I literally thought this as soon as she said she loaded everything up in the car.
atishe24 9
That line that Oogway from Kung Fu Panda says about trying to prevent something from happening and creating the path for it to happen in the process...
atishe24 9
# One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
TheEpicPies 15
Damn!