Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML
Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML
Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Where'd you take her? To the police station, or to the local sex shop where you and me both know those handcuffs came from?...
jideare 3
Placed handcuffs on her "as a joke"? Good cover!?
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Comments (104)
kinkyfemboislut 6
In any case I'd be concerned about why he put hand cuffs on her... cos there ain't no good reasons, and one of them is illegal, the other, is that and is just plan wrong.
misterjez 15
Sounds like she has daddy issues lol.
PhilMcHawk 7
Jesus. You can break out of standard handcuffs with a Uniball brand pen. Take the metal pocket clip off the pen's cap, use it as a shim, and slide it into the handcuffs in between where the "teeth" of the cuffs meet the channel they go into to lock.
angelofsaturn 23
#78 I think I saw that on an ep of MANswers.
shutupanddance 0
Nice to know I'm not the only one here with a dirty mind...
kirsten_khloe 0
Awkward moment..
TwiztedYuri 9
I wonder what he gave your daughter to keep her quiet. OP need to watch this man very carefully... I foresee another pedobear attack on your daughter.
imjaninja 0
Wait, u took ur daughter, because her father put handcuffs on her? This makes no sense, she has 2 fathers?
imjaninja 0
Wait I just realised it's the mum posting, my bad I'm an idiot lol
bubo_fml 11
Phreaky Father!
wellthatsukx 0
YDI. Why didn't you just use a bobby pin?
tt7703ok 3
Uhhh wtf hmmm it sounds like they were trying 2 have some fun "sex"