Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
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Top comments
Ourstory 3
win!!
RedPillSucks 33
Surprise butt sex?
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Comments (185)
hempat 2
not really an FML, it was an accident
fmlsxmakexmyxday 0
today, while at my job some guy sneezed into my butt. apparently he wanted to not sneeze onto everyone at the table. fml
MAGNAVOX 0
Not in my dictionary. And no, I'm pretty sure you're in a public library, jobless and trying to be noticed with your vulgar comments.
texan4life 0
it would have been really funny if you had sneezed in the other tables food.
honeybeex3 0
score! :D
lilbill_4eva 0
9 IS a win!
gixxer922 0
I wonder if it tickled
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for wasting your money in a restaurant, for adding to America's obesity epidemic by eating in a restaurant (check the nutrition info: restaurant food is GARBAGE), for not just sneezing in your companions' food and laughing at them for it, for not being aware of your surroundings, for having to sneeze in the first place (only ******* have allergies!), and for even having a nose at all you MUTANT.
hahaalolz 0
lmfao, trollz, I love u!! xD
CiaranPM 0
Brown noser. Literally.
mariakcee 3
I seriously thought this was going to be a Mario Kart reference when I initially skimmed through it. But then I realized this isn't MLIA :)
mariakcee 3
EPIC FAIL. I commented on the wrong FML x/!!! I can't delete it either.... good job me.