Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
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Top comments
hopelessefforts 9
That must be awkward in bed if you know what I mean
perdix 31
#2, did you read the whole story? It's a fear of cats, not dogs.
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Comments (87)
olpally 33
Damn cats! Lol. Use a laser Pointer and see if it works on her.
smiliecat 13
Does my profile picture scare you? He's 25lbs of love and bunny kicks.
Llama_Face89 34
25 lbs?! What breed? O.o
smiliecat 13
He was a lucky find! I have no idea what he's got in him. I'm sure Maine coon somewhere! He's also not overweight by any means...he's furry, healthy, and fairly active (for a cat).
Blazinthatshit 9
my grandma has a maine coon, they get fuggin huge!
rocalula 5
He is beautiful!
Acrlyx 8
Well I guess the animal logo scared you. Other than she sounds inconsiderate.
perdix 31
You should make spider or butterfly sounds back and scare the shit out of her!
cuppycakeslove 20
Ooh what sounds do spiders make?
perdix 31
#23, I'd tell you, but if you don't have arachnophobia already, you'd get a bad case of it.
FightMyLiger 19
They bark. The barking spider, heard most commonly in elevators and quiet movie theaters. Cohabitants with "mouse playing tuba".
MrConcise 35
They hiss. Sounds like a pipe leaking air, IMO.
AngrySailor 17
Are we talking "Steve French" here or "Shit Rock"? Your pride hinges on the answer OP.
tsent8 15
Don't be such a pussy. Grow some whiskers.
mmaflake 19
Yes. I hoped somebody would call this guy a pussy. Cats!?!? Maybe lions or tigers.
MrConcise 35
Ah, the game of cat and mouse we call "love".
icepick23 12
Your girlfriend sounds pretty sexy...
B1ackthesun 31
She sounds pretty damn annoying to me...
swordidfate 13
Sounds to me like she was just trying to be cute, if it really bothers you tell her
B1ackthesun 31
Sounds to me like she was trying to be funny not cute... And seriously failing at both.
vegeta77 4
You win my wimp of the year award. How did you get a girlfriend? Does she beat you?
lectricpharaoh 9
That makes about as much sense as 'I had a traumatic experience with a person, therefore, I'm scared of all people who are . Some cats/dogs/etc are extremely friendly, and some are not.Besides, perhaps the cat/dog/whatever had a bad experience with people. The difference there is that we don't expect these animals to reason out that not every member of a group is the same. @OP: Grow a pair, and get over it. It's one thing to be afraid of a cat that has hurt you, but to have a fear of all cats is pretty childish. It's even sadder to be afraid of your girlfriend's cat noises.