Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML
Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I had to give presentation at work, for which I'd extensively prepared. However, as soon as I started speaking, I had a sudden panic attack and forgot everything I'd rehearsed. I stumbled through the presentation, feeling the embarrassment steadily grow in front of my colleagues. I almost passed out. FML
Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for three hours. FML
Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years-old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimidated by a group of 4 year-olds. FML
Today, I gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding. I wanted to say, “You both look beautiful together.” Instead, nerves took over, and I blurted out, “You both look beautiful naked.” In front of 100 people. And a priest. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
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Top comments
warmfuzzy 0
is being a "hot blonde" all it takes for guys to get hard? really???
Bathory_fml 0
Because movies totally give the best advice. YDI.
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Comments (122)
mushrooms_fml 0
Yes u asshole its called graduate school! Duh
gummibehrs 4
Nice.
likeOMGwow 0
could be in grad school... way to be a jerk on the internet
shit_happens101 0
PAJAMAS. You're supposed to imagine them in their PAJAMAS. -sigh- Guys.
mandi625 0
LOL. That could work.
blah123blah 0
Do the superbad technique... Tuck your boner up into the waste of your pants. Hides it very well, and feels awsome. Sence you were in front of a crowd, grab your junk from your pokets, only with finger tips, not with whole hand. Then slide your thingy upwards. Might take some practice. Your welcome for the boner hider techniques, they work.
__iamcanadian__ 0
hah this technique actually works really well
DameGreyWulf 1
Everyone knows that trick. I know it and I'm a chick. Rhyme unintentional.
RatIsKing 0
so fake and/or stupid it isn't funny.
ditzykayla 0
lol at #64 you should so make a website of "how to hide your boner techniques" I'm a girl and probably wouldn't read them. But hey it's a good idea right? This is if there isn't already one out there. =/
apocalocyntosis 0
YDI for thinking that would actually work.
Bree16 0
haha thats rly funny
Ninjaface 0
Why would imagining the audience naked ever help stage fright? It would just be incredibly distracting, as the OP found out. Here's what might work: imagine that they're all wearing Snuggies.
crap09 0
Still doesn't work for me.