Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML
Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I had to give presentation at work, for which I'd extensively prepared. However, as soon as I started speaking, I had a sudden panic attack and forgot everything I'd rehearsed. I stumbled through the presentation, feeling the embarrassment steadily grow in front of my colleagues. I almost passed out. FML
Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for three hours. FML
Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years-old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimidated by a group of 4 year-olds. FML
Today, I gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding. I wanted to say, “You both look beautiful together.” Instead, nerves took over, and I blurted out, “You both look beautiful naked.” In front of 100 people. And a priest. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
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Top comments
warmfuzzy 0
is being a "hot blonde" all it takes for guys to get hard? really???
Bathory_fml 0
Because movies totally give the best advice. YDI.
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Comments (122)
skatergirl21 2
thats awesome if you looked at her than you should look at me you would get a super boner write me back
gummibehrs 4
Craigslist not working for ya?
porsche944 0
Gummibehrs wins for all eternity
mushrooms_fml 0
LOL. #24, I agree!
_Noon_ 0
Haha, too bad. Hopefully only the front row noticed. But I doubt it.
skatergirl21 2
you should look at me then you would get a super boner write back
gummibehrs 4
Shut the hell up and stop being desperate. And you're also spamming.
UGFTW 0
Get a life, please.
alex_vik 1
UGFTW - That's quite the original username. (not).
GongButterfly 0
lol learn to control yourself horny boy ;P
OmgItsAnaBeatriz 0
FYL? Lol, Of Course Not! At Least Hot Blondes Go To Your Seminar. Good Job (;
Sun_Kissed18 25
Could have been mandatory :P
Vaetrus 0
42: There are mandatory attendance for hot blonde chicks? Where?!?! 54/57: There are no hot bald women. Your picture did nothing. OP. You knew you were going to stare at her regardless.
Jazzywrites007 2
Oh hey, You're a bitch.
musiclife_fml 0
that technique works, just...don't focus on one person LOL
DameGreyWulf 1
Begh. Blonde. Blonde is such an overrated hair colour, and it really doesn't look that nice for most people. (Yes, I'm speaking males and females). Dark hair all the way. Moving on, You definitely deserve it for trying something you saw in movies lol I bet you're the kid that made them put that label on Superman costumes.
Lonely_Lez 0
Hey! Don't rag on the blondes, haha. I agree though, blonde hair is hard to pull off unless you're born with it (this coming from a natural blonde).
mushrooms_fml 0
Ya I have normally dishwater-blonde hair but I lighten it. It also looks lighter because I live off the west coast and it is always sunny and hot.
VolleyballSMASH 1
Brunettes all the way!!!!!!
fmh123 0
blonde, "Homer SImpson drools"
epicwinmaster 0
@ skatergirl21: if you have to ask people to look at you ON THE INTERNET, never mind in public, you are obviously ugly as **** and kept in a cage. so just stop.
bensitu 1
See, in the movies, this is where the guy whips it out and talks about the importance of keeping your mouth clean. What, you don't watch the same movies I do?
f_u_u_f_f 0
lol
gothymama 0
I didn't know **** worked as whitener!