Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML
Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML
Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML
Today, my date unexpectedly brought her friend to dinner with us. They seemed bored of me after ten minutes and left me out of their conversation for the rest of the night. Oh, and they made me pay for both of them. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML
Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML
Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML
Today, my "best friend" invited me to drink with her and a couple other friends. She told me to "just bring a few bucks for beer". When I got there, no one else had brought money, including her. They only invited me because I'm the only one with a job. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
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Top comments
regalarius 0
Wow, that sucks. Why did you need a date that badly?
doodlebug93 0
wow. desperate much? i would rather go alone than pay that much money for a lousy date.
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Comments (131)
mustlovemarvin 0
No Way Don't Pay!
Paula844 7
Wouldn't it make a hell of a lot more sense to just go alone and try and meet somebody there? If you're that self-conscious, you could always lie and say you just got out of a long relationship or something. But paying somebody to be your date is just pathetic.
Paula844 7
#83, this dude is paying drunk chicks to date him, and you think he's remotely concerned about spelling and grammar??
ericavel 0
Brocode... Touché.
julesx3 0
jahaha hilariousd
skampa 0
your not very good at doing business lol... next time draw up a contract..
that_guy_you_are 0
Just be classy and bring a horse as your date or something. Wear a monocle and tophat and be an eccentric ******** to everyone.
w00t_fml 0
A banquet we DO in our town every year GRAMMAR, people, GRAMMAR
dickface_fml 0
pathetic
TFSabridged 0
Um....who the hell pays someone to go with them? It's free food and alcohol! Clealry you should have found someone better to take.