Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out why my boyfriend didn’t want me to attend his graduation: because a classmate he’s been seeing was there. I watched through the livestream posted on the school website as they held hands, hugged and kissed. I motivated him to finish college in the first place. FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years outright refuses to come to my best friend's wedding, on the grounds that he'll be "bored." FML
Today, my husband was surprised to learn that I am planning on celebrating our daughter's first day at school. He is now pissed that we did not "decide on this together." Who doesn't celebrate their child's first school day? FML
Today, I found out that my husband wasn’t at “work” like he said he was. He'd told me he couldn’t come to my Master degree graduation because he was called into “work” last minute. I guess “work” is code word for the “movie theatre” watching Spider-Man with an unidentified female person. FML
Today, my husband yet again procrastinated on a project for so long, that he now has to work during the weekend. When I asked whether or not we could still spend some free time together, he started ranting about how I ruin his career. He seriously thinks it's about us and not his horrible planning skills. FML
Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML
Today, my husband wants to go on a trip to Tulum with his friend. I suggested I go as well, but he refused because it’s a "friends trip." He assures me that he "won’t sleep in the same bed with her or anything." I had to explain why it was still inappropriate. He still doesn’t get it. FML
Today, I worked from home and, by coincidence, it was the day that my partner was going away for the weekend with some friends. When one of them picked her up, I noticed that the other friend's husband was going on the trip. So other husbands are invited… but not me. FML
Today, my husband told his parents that he was quitting his job so that he could focus on school. They asked him what he was going to do for money. When I told them that I'd be the one working, they took one look at me and burst into laughter. FML
Today, nobody wanted to come to my graduation after finding out that my father was coming too. FML
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Top comments
Mynameislinh 24
Your husband has got his priorities all jumbled up.
AH1Zviper 15
Aren't husbands supposed to be supporting? He needs to get his priorities straight.
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Comments (60)
etishuman22 32
Maybe he's not right for you, OP, if he can't be bothered to break his routine to celebrate you gaining your PhD. Do you really want to be stuck with that for the rest of your life?
MackAttackkkk 12
They're already married...
Mr_Loudmouth 9
Aaaaand there it was! I k we it wouldn't take to long for the "it's time to leave him" comments came out. Relationships take work. He simply needs to understand that. A talk is needed more than a divorce.
Crofty92 17
Some people seem beyond help and hard work.
etishuman22 32
#37, if he's more upset about missing a pub crawl with his friends than seeing his wife graduate with her PhD, there's something seriously wrong there. They need marriage counseling, not just a talk.
DDCA 24
Then say that as opposed to the cliche "maybe he's not right for you" comment. As you said yourself, they need counseling. Relationships take work. So don't be hypocrite, young and "not boring" accountant.
kernelkat 16
You see, there's this thing called a divorce....
etishuman22 32
You're a creep for bringing up my profile on an FML.
DDCA 24
You're a bit sensitive to be on this sort of website. Don't post things if you're unable to handle other people's comments. Here. I built you a bridge. Now cry yourself a river, and get over it.
etishuman22 32
Guess you woke up on the bitch side of the bed today? Slow down on the haterade, dude. What the hell did I do to you to deserve the personal attacks? Keep it relevant, please.
Olympiakos10 15
I don't understand why people think it's so easy to just go get a divorce because of one thing and their life will be the same. It's not like you're just breaking up with someone, you are throwing away a perfectly good marriage. I think all that is needed is a serious talk and maybe get his friends to persuade him to go to the graduation.
DDCA 24
#76: I should ask you the same. Who pissed in your cheerios? Now seriously, if you don't like what people say about your comments, that's fine. But you send me a nasty personal message and then call me a creep over the public comments to look like a victim? So practice what you preach and keep it relevant. Talk about can't take what you dish out...
etishuman22 32
What are you talking about????
DDCA 24
Read the comments. Or if you'd like, I could draw you a picture. Anyway, I'm officially ignoring you now. Now please go away.
xALEXx_fml 15
I sense some tension here...
interesting33 37
Really? Where did you get that vibe from? :P
Xquisite1 28
Based on your username, I hate how some individuals blame married life in general just because they married a crappy spouse. Marriage is not a bad thing. It is the people involved in the marriage that actually define what kind of married life you will have. Having an insensitive husband does not automatically come along with the commitment. Something tells me that you knew he was a certain way prior to you marrying him.
ManInTheMachine 20
Not sure how you jumped from OP's username being 'married life' to OP blaming married life for her husbands actions. Jumping the gun, are we?
souljacker 11
I reckon. 'Married life' does not insinuate either something wholly good or wholly bad. Even the best marriages aren't all plain sailing.
BobbieH 19
What an unsupportive douche bag. Congrats OP on completing your PhD! You should be very proud and your husband should be too. It's a shame that his isn't.
VampObsessed 16
Graduations are boring. I told my boyfriend not to come to mine. Not like I noticed he wasn't there anyways. Even I was bored out of my mind sitting there for hours. I met up with him at the bar afterwards and had way more fun!
souljacker 11
I didn't even go to my own.
julfunky 29
#24 - haha neither did I. I didn't go to my high school or college graduation. I'd rather be out celebrating than stuck in a seat waiting for one name to be called out of the hundreds of others. I went to my brother's graduation when I was younger and fell asleep on the bleachers. I decided that I would never again torture myself like that.
MrConcise 35
@24 - I didn't go to my high school graduation, but my girlfriend went because apparently my graduation was more important to her than it was to me. Everyone congratulated her as though I was there.
DDCA 24
If you're getting your PhD and he's upset about attending your graduation to get shit faced with his friends instead, you may want to reconsider procreation. Could you imagine him getting shit faced at Chuck E Cheese!? Those poor kids will hate dancing rodents and bad pizza forever!
Zebediabolical 45
I think he's more upset at the fact he made plans and she made assumptions. A graduation like this is something you should write on the calendar and make a point of making sure he's going to be there. Just to avoid situations like this one. I'm not gonna vote YDI, but I can see where the wires got crossed up.
DDCA 24
!
DDCA 24
Seriously? Read comment #28. Assclown.
monnanon 14
wires got crossed? he would have known about an impending graduation since op started her phd or at least the lasr six months of it.
Medd_fml 13
call me old fashioned, but i would call teaching your children to be verse to semi-intelligent rodents and bad pizza a good parenting choice. :p
Zebediabolical 45
He /should/ have known about it. Now you're making assumptions too.
monnanon 14
no i am not making assumptions. it is impossible for anyonr close to you not to know you are doing something big in thier lives. where did he think shr was all the time? she will have mentioned graduating at least once because thats what couples do, they talk
Zebediabolical 45
I'm pretty sure that if couples actually talked the divorce rate in America wouldn't be over 40%.
BaldoktheMystic 3
You think your husband would be proud that you are getting a DOCTORATE, which is a really big deal. Apparently beer is more important to him.
Faff 20
Yeah I agree, I would be really proud to tell my friends I can't come because my wife is getting her PhD.
tonijulie 20
Congratulations on your phd :)
strike2867 13
She could be a genius and it is her 5th PhD.
kurodansei 16
lol. "Damn woman I swear you get on of those things every week!!!"
mattorama 15
You "assumed" he would be and he "has to" go? You sound pretty demanding. YDI. You don't "assume" people "have to" do anything. You don't own him.
TVKill3r 15
That's cool. Now when he asks for money when she's making tons of money he can go suck a knob.
Alicestraza 33
You'd make such a supportive partner.
tenfiftynine 12
When you graduate you assume the one you love will be there and support you. OPs husband should go. I think your wife graduation is more important than some pub.
perdix 31
Are you speaking at the commencement ceremony? No? Then why should he spend hours waiting for your three seconds of fame? Getting your diploma for a Ph.D. is anti-climactic anyways. When you pass your thesis defense is the time to party like it's 1999. And if you are thinking I am just being a dick, I just mentioned in passing to my friends and my family about my Ph.D. ceremonies without any expectation that they would attend (I had completed the requirements about 5 months earlier.)
Danielle7994 18
But that's you. Not everyone who earns/earned a PhD is like that. This is a HUGE event for her in her life. Her husband shouldn't feel like he's forced to be there. He's her husband! He should WANT to be there for her. It's sad that her husband would rather drink with his friends :/
perdix 31
#72, have you BEEN to a graduation of even a moderately-sized college? They take many hours and they rattle off the names like auctioneers on crack. You have to follow the program carefully to make sure you don't miss your person's name. And often, people getting advanced degrees are treated like shit compared to those getting bachelor's degrees. When your thesis committee announces that they have accepted your thesis, that is when the thrill happens.
Danielle7994 18
Well yeah, I have been to a college graduation for one of my old friend's older brother. Sure it was hard to hear the names being called and sure it was uncomfortable sitting there for hours. But I still feel like her husband should be honored to go - since he IS married to her. I also don't see why PhD graduates would get treated worse than Bachelors...
perdix 31
#100, because the vast majority of recipients at a typical commencement are bachelor's degrees (and an even vaster majority of the other audience), they are not particularly attentive or respectful when the higher degrees are handed out. Besides, if you are getting a Ph.D., you've been through high school, bachelor's and maybe even master's commencements and that's enough already! You should have figured out what a bogus sham the ceremony is. I'd rather go on a pub crawl. . .
Danielle7994 18
You still don't get it though! All those previous ceremonies are precious moments in OP's life! Personally, I think that her husband shouldn't express that type of attitude. You're supposed to support your spouse no matter what. Even if he still was like "Ugh not another one...", for goodness sakes! He should be there for her!
perdix 31
#107, go to a few more of those boring clusterfucks and then come back to talk to me. Colonoscopies are pivotal moments in my life, butt I don't go inviting loved ones to attend.
Emily062611 6
How do you know she's not speaking at the ceremony? Even if not, it means something to her, and if he can't give up one day for something meaningful to his wife, he's being selfish.