Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because, "Wi-Fi’s all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said, "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil Ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML
Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML
Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML
Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML
Today, a coworker and I got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss's infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
Today, at work, I had to explain to a customer that she can't connect her tablet to her home WiFi while she's at work. I went to MIT for this. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tomwantssnow 14
Love the analogy! Most people really just don't understand the internet though, all he really needs is something like AVG.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Your simile was beautiful...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (63)
molleyla 7
Guess he is into 13yrs old boy instead of ****.
stewpididiot 11
Tell the boss to look up error code *I. D. 10. T.*
Marielle_T 10
Just let your boss get a wired connection if he wants. You're the one that's going to look good once he's proven wrong!
INeedAUserNamr 13
Sometimes it annoys me how some people can be so selfish and not listen to other people opinions or the truth.
lasagnanarcotics 14
Don't even worry about his computer pal, its not your job to:)
katebond 16
you won! :)
sabine123_fml 5
Sad man
DatPiggahDoe 10
Sounds like you work for Comcast
Ziggy122 15
Yes, unfortunately computer wires are not condoms.
TheCrispyCat 20
Beautiful analogy.