Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because, "Wi-Fi’s all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said, "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil Ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML
Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML
Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML
Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML
Today, a coworker and I got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss's infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
Today, at work, I had to explain to a customer that she can't connect her tablet to her home WiFi while she's at work. I went to MIT for this. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
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Top comments
tomwantssnow 14
Love the analogy! Most people really just don't understand the internet though, all he really needs is something like AVG.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Your simile was beautiful...
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Comments (63)
tianyiwei 17
dat analogy hhahahahahahaha
DeadPixel4 29
The ignorance...IT HURTS!
FkcuMyLefi 4
The wired connect COULD come through a firewall.. While the wi-fi can bypass that.. like where I work... maybe fyl. .. maybe ydi. ...
SoliDSt33L 33
Any decent router that I know of, especially one for business, has a firewall that protects both wired and wireless connections. The only time that you would want to take off the firewall temporarily is if it is causing problems with certain programs. But that would most likely take off the firewall for both types of connections. And if your place of work doesn't have a firewall on the wireless connections, I would suggest talking to someone to change that. It's very dangerous not to be protected on the internet these days, as most people know.
ComoEsJuan 24
At first, I thought 16 was making a joke. As in "it literally has to go through a wall and Wi-Fi doesn't", but then I continued to think, and I don't think that is what they meant.
Ben009 13
What a douche bag
Arwen_Evenstar 37
A favourite just for the wonderful mental image.
onlymytwocents 9
To my own detriment, I would have quit on the spot. Dumb people like that give me headaches.
slyde32 12
must be nice having the ability to just quit on the spot because someone isn't overly smart, I stick to being paid and take joy knowing I should be safe longer if people start being fired
TheNenemon 15
That was one of the best analogies ever
swagstatic 16
Idiot maybe you should google it and shove it in his face.
ManicGypsy 22
If your internet at work ever has issues, you should tell him to unplug the cable and blow in it, because the data probably just got stuck in the cable. LOL. If he actually does it, look for a new job, because you don't need a boss that stupid.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
The pointy-haired boss, perhaps?
lina21 12
It'll be interesting to see his reaction when he has major virus problems with his wired connection. You can't fix stupid OP. I would just make sure you keep commentary off Facebook just in case he's smart enough to keep track of that. Keeping your job is ideal