Anony-moose
United States
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Bronx, United States
Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML
Anonymous
United States
Lost in translation
Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML
oliverP123
United States
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
milkysubstance
Brisbane, Australia
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
yerface
United States
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
wow
France
Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML
baffled
Norwich, United Kingdom
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Leashaness
United States
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
HairyBoobs
United States
So, here's the thing…
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
United States
Please explain
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML
Top comments
EelJumpsRope 0
Reinforce the fact that bologna nipples are gross and smaller nipples are a blessing.
MagicallyFat 12
Worst super power. EVER.
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Comments (89)
Shans021 4
you should NOT be putting this on the internet that is so damn inappropriate, what kind of a doctor are you?!?
HappyPickles 11
... an anomymoose one :o)
HappyPickles 11
... I read this as stating the obvious: instead of patient's nipples getting smaller - obviously patient's breasts are getting bigger... And to all the high-and-mighty "patient-doctor-confidentiality" worry-warts: get a grip. This site is anonymoose (oops - anonymous :o). The vast majority of readers here, by definition, don't even live in the same *state* as OP or her patient - so how would anyone recognise either of them??
curlyfry2015 0
Please tell me you aren't a dentist.
Cmcnab1997 0
Best...day....EVER
shadystyle 6
some girls need to
yourlifesucksHA 14
You should have played around and said yes they are!
Alvarortor 14
Was it a man or a woman?
rocker_chick23 27
Her is a female term, the patient was female