Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Today, I found out how acidic some of the chemicals I work with are. After a chemical shower, minor burns, and having to throw away my clothes due to a biohazard, I had the pleasure of running across the parking lot to my car, wearing only a lab coat around my waist. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML
Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML
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Top comments
walmartpaysme 15
And the reason you lived past infancy is....?
Roevera 14
You didn't realize she was about to use paint thinner on your skin?
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Comments (125)
littlehollycocks 0
The only paint thinner safe for skin is mineral spirits.... As far as I know. I've used it and never had any trouble. If this is what you've used, man up. If it was regular paint thinner, get a brain.
Psych101 9
"Man up"? What's he supposed to do? Threaten his skin? "I swear, if you get chemically burned because of some pansy paint thinner one more time, I will never speak to you again."
rabidpeach 5
when you wash yourself with acetone or miniral spirits you can feel a slight tingle. its meant to quickly dissolve paint, you dont leave it on you any more than it takes the paint to run. should be quick.
FMLKitten 15
Lets pray you got your father's (hopefully) more intelligent genes.
sweetbabysweet93 10
Bravo copying my comment.
wolfhausen 7
Bravo for needing recognition.
sweetbabysweet93 10
Yeah that's what I wanted. Goodness.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I need back up, someone has stolen a comment! Code blue! Code blue!
Psych101 9
42- Code Blue?! There's a dog fighting ring in my office?!
FMLKitten 15
I'm sure I've said this before, but I don't usually read the comment section before I comment, I do afterwards. Unless I have nothing to say, then I'm all for the comments section.
docscientist 10
Sweetbaby, your comment was hardly an original response in the first place. Let's not pretend it is otherwise.
Hizodge 4
If you apply a little to a paper towel, that is actually a very good way to remove dried paint from hands. Unless you have sensitive skin, some kind of allergy to that chemical, or prolonged contact with it.
pennies_lane 6
I think your mum has sniffed the paint thinner a bit too much and killed off some brain cells
_krystallynn_ 11
well you let her do it, so dont call her stupid. you didnt know either.
LifelessStars 22
why would you let her get that close to your skin with paint thinner anyways
omgawshglee 4
Why did you let her put paint thinner on you in the first place? :/
perdix 31
Maybe your mom thinks you're too fat, and she is desperate to make you thinner.
Psych101 9
Mom: "We'll I guess I could make him work out more... Or I could just take a few layers off of his skin. Yea, that'll work fine."
aksweetheart 7
No, perdix! Everyone knows that you use PEOPLE thinner for those sorts of things!
twinkiefeets 17
There is no such thing. Duh
nancyschmancy 9
Good god! There is no such thing as people thinner? Alert the presses!
RCAddict16 0
Did you sniff it before letting her do that?
Sharkitaxrscary 12
If your mum is that dumb... she shouldn't have children. Maybe she should have started with a goldfish.
Metallica36176 16
So she could fill the fishbowl with paint thinner and let it swim in that..