Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Congrats on getting shitfaced without taking a single drink! Your liver thanks you.
intensitive 11
That's quite nasty.
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Comments (194)
AliceC_fml 3
SO sick. but YDI for covering w ur hand. Sharing is not caring in this instance. we don't want ur nose germs
VIPJellyBean 0
FYL.
manicrose 3
Why didn't you sneeze into your elbow? You should do that instead of into your hand..and why did you use the hand that was holding the toilet paper to cover your mouth with? Didn't you have a free hand?? YDI
BLNovelist 0
Odds are he was wiping with his dominant hand. Most people I've seen will automatically use their dominant arm/hand/shoulder if they sneeze without even thinking about it. Unfortunately that meant getting a hand of shit in their face.
SirensMelody 0
How do you sneeze into your elbow?... Also, the OP didn't purposely sneeze on the hand, it was an instinct..
welderchick87 0
You bring your arm up to your face...you don't actually sneeze on your elbow...but you get that basic area so that if you spray your snot and spit everywhere when you sneeze, it's not getting on your hands and you don't spread around germs...especially if you're sick. Duh.
_sourpatchkid 0
you hold your arm out in front of you, bending it toward you and sneeze into the crook of your elbow
gangstahjennstah 0
hahahahahahahaha! omfg! that's hilarious.
kimberquat 0
one word IDIOT
Yessii 0
hahaha.... i love it!! FYL:)
shalizzz 0
one of the funniest fmls I've read in a while......FYL
blardyblardyblar 0
Wow, thanks for supplying me with such a good laugh this evening. My appreciations.
Sekococo 0
this is better then the monkey that threw shit at a guy face in india. YDI ain't it shitty that it happen.
nood_fml 0
ah SHIT.....literally