Today, I had the mother of a five year old come in for parent teacher conferences. When I told her that her son was very smart, but he often made up fantastical stories about his home life, she burst into tears. She then ran out of my office crying, "I knew it! I knew he was a sociopath!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML
Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his or his mom's name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we'd found her she told me, "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my five-year-old son threatened to kill another kid at school. I told the teacher I would have a talk with my son about how that’s not okay. The teacher replied that I’d better call the cops in case he “follows through.” Did I mention the kid is five? FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML
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Top comments
WinterChild 20
Because no child ever made up a story or has an imagination without having a mental disorder...
Wizardo 34
Guess he inherited the smarts from his dad.
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Comments (38)
freakinduck 6
Where did she go after leaving the office...?
luvlu444 24
its called imagination, something all 5 year olds have, and will unfortunately grow out of
hardcorefan16 22
Or maybe she's the sociopath.
DoomedGemini 38
I'm kinda worried for the kid.. Is he going to be alright in her care if she's throwing out a diagnosis like that? I am a huge advocate for trying to find mental illnesses early, but a 5 year old a sociopath for having an imagination? Unless he's intentionally harming animals or people for fun(not just because he doesn't know any better) I don't see why she'd come up with that.
worldclassrager 41
Oh come on...it's a good thing...
kalbrek009 20
What exactly are these stories & how can you tell that they're all made up? Sounds like the mother (possibly) may be a sociopath & fears that she made a mini of herself...or, she spends too much time on the Internet googling mental disorders.
Brightbulb 40
maybe he makes the stories because he is 5? or he could be a child wizard and the mom is just trying to thriw you off the scent... but then again he is 5 and the mom had already condemned him as a sociopath.
BstMode 14
Stewie!
Kamikazek 6
When I was in high school I told my mom I was comfortable with my acne (which was rather minor and often unnoticeable if I did my hair right) and she seriously freaked out and said that's something only a sociopath would say and went on and on about how "that's really scary". She does stuff like that a lot in fact, making senseless diagnoses and then freaking out about them. It's not a fun thing to grow up around, I pity the kid in this FML. Also I worked at a day care with kids around this age for a while, basically all of them make stuff up. Hell almost everyone I knows remembers several kids who's "dad worked at Nintendo" or something similar from when they were young. If this was a reliable sign of sociopathy we'd have sociopaths coming out of our ears.
blackonblight 33
"My friend's uncle who works at Nintendo" was the usual phrasing when I was young.
Emmy0806 6
Did you make this story up?