Today, I had the most Chicago experience ever. While I was eating my delicious, deep dish pizza, someone was ripping the rims off my car 15 feet away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call saying I was successful in my interview to be a pizza delivery driver. As I picked up my contract and got in my car, I reversed sideways into a pole and ripped off my front bumper. The manager came out and helped jam the bumper in so I could make it home. FML
Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendant. He had my car towed. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML
Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML
Today, I got lost searching for an apartment in a huge complex. A hysterical woman started screaming that I didn’t belong there, and that she was calling the police. She stood behind my car so I couldn’t leave. I’m a pizza delivery driver, in full uniform and with the company emblem on my car. FML
Today, I came back from a 700-mile round trip. I hit a massive pothole I couldn't avoid and blew out a tire and bent my rim. I was less than a mile from my house. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I had the lovely experience of witnessing a tow truck cause a couple thousand dollars' worth of damage to my broken-down car. FML
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Top comments
captain_hero89 22
at least you didn't get killed
lexiieeex3 32
Well that's an interesting duo...
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Comments (25)
gracehi 33
Chicago, Chicago! That toddling town!
othehugemanatee 8
Change "pizza" to "cheesesteak" and "stealing rims" to "slashing tires" and you've got the Philly experience.
ImAFaker 29
Change cheesesteak back to pizza but instead of slashing tires it's a human being. Welcome to NYC
dietcoke09 25
At least you didn't get shot by a cop.
MayorW 5
You gotta love the Windy City.
x3rinnx 2
Welcome to my hometown, happens all the time
gisellemami 12
sounds like something that would happen in the bay area
MangoLoco 22
That's Chicago for you, I've gone through similar experiences multiple times :P
sylvienoir 18
Take some weed, a flannel shirt, and a women's studies degree and you've got Portland