Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Nightmare Fuel
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Thanks…
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML
Sticky situation
Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Coming and going
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Say it, don't spray it
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Self-own
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Wardrobe change please
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Top comments
Happygofucky 0
[Generic pissed off speech/rant entailing my life story and the fact that above comments have nothing to do with #1 making me just another pissed off emo kid.]
Xxak907xX 0
That just ******* sucks
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Comments (109)
Calyx_fml 22
Stop swallowing so much sperm.
KatieeAdamss 17
Dude, I feel ya. Just been diagnosed with asthma and haven't got it under control yet so I've been coughing for the best part of a month. Sometimes I cough so hard I puke. It'll get better OP, just be patient. Until then, FYL! :)
luckycuntt 3
I've had coughing fits like that before too. Luckily it was only at home and usually in the morning
MBrabs1996 22
Better get that checked out! The other day at work I coughed so hard I vomited. Bronchitis. I have bronchitis.