Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M&M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone stole a package off my doorstep. Too bad, it was the video doorbell to prevent my packages from being stolen. FML
Today, I received an email from a shipping company telling me they had dropped off a package of expensive electronics at the front door. Too bad someone stole it before I made it to the door. FML
Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML
Today, I received a text saying that a package had just been delivered to the house. By the time I reached the front door, it had been stolen. FML
Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M&M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
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Top comments
TheGothGamerGirl 20
It's the thought that counts. ;)
thinkPlNK 0
those Eminem's should have only cost you 50 cent. but because they cost you $60, that's Ludacris!
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Comments (161)
Enslaved 38
I always thought those customized M&M's were such a great concept but had no idea they were that expensive. Wow! $60 just for chocolate?!
thiscrazything 1
Maybe it was 10 lbs of chocolate .Then it wouldn't seems so bad. Mmmmmm chocolate.
john1234595 0
Spongebob moment.
higgy6969 7
File a claim with the carrier! Ups insures all packages
DocBastard 40
You had the chance to put something cute or clever on there, and you went with the trite "I live you"? How about "Eat me"?
desireev 18
Doc, I just read your new profile for the first time. That is hilarious! The Almighty Mods really should use that for the site! It would be very useful!
RedPillSucks 33
How about "This isn't the only thing that will melt in your mouth"... Too long? You can use both sides of the M&M Too gay?
perdix 31
Ah, the gift of diabetes, obesity and cavities! Your beloved is better off that your Trojan horse of a gift got stolen.
john1234595 0
It would be funny if ur partner stole it
Pelreskovich 11
Customized M&Ms are the shit! You can get them with faces on them too, if you find out who your thief is, order more but with his/her face on them.. That'll creep them out when they steal that package! :D
Rocky007 15
Customized M&M s! What a waste of money.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Buying something for someone special in your life is now considered a "waste of money"?
Pelreskovich 11
Customized M&Ms are the shit! Now you just need to find out who your thief is and order more custom M&Ms with his/her face on them, that'll really creep em out when they steal those!
klatt 8
I recently bought 2 packages from eBay they were 2 north face jackets value 158.00 stolen off my porch. Wich I was not notifed they were there.no one will refund me.
rubberduckie94 13
You should have got The South Butt not The North Face preppie.
perdix 31
How would your lover know that the M&Ms weren't mass-produced, like the ones that say "Happy Birthday," "Get Well Soon" and "Sorry your cat got mauled by a wolverine?"
deeters 0
He could tell her
perdix 31
Why doesn't the OP (who is female) tell her beloved "I love you" face-to-face and save $60 and all those calories?
Suba_fml 8
Sucks for you. Awesome for him.