Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into a job interview, then turned round and walked back out again. The interviewer was a one-night stand that ended very badly months ago, and she remembered me. I could see in her face the interview was pointless, so instead of grovelling I went to the pub to drown my sorrows. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. He was drunk and won't remember any of this tomorrow. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. Things were going well, the lady was about to offer me the job, but then I got the hiccups. She immediately changed her tone and said, “Yeah, I think we’re done here. Next time, don’t show up to a job interview drunk.” I had no alcohol in my system. FML
Today, I had a job interview that I had spent hours preparing for it. When I arrived, the interviewer told me the position had been filled already and they forgot to notify me. I wasted a whole fucking day for nothing. FML
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Top comments
Spazz420 7
Well did u get the job?
thebaddayblues 3
Offer to buy him another drink after?
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Comments (44)
kimg0885 23
Wow and they say stoners have bad memory, guess being an alcoholic isn't much better. Good luck with being a blackout drunk, I'm sure that'll work out just great!
KLeePrice 11
Just because he went out on a Saturday night and got drunk doesn't mean he's an alcoholic.
Bakarra 22
When you're a 12 year old MLP fan, there isn't a difference #26
slimjim8094 12
No, but it is a fuckup to be getting blackout drunk. I like drinking and getting drunk, but blackout is obviously way too much
timelessone 16
You mean he spent an hour stalking someone drunk. Hoping for......
timelessone 16
I should get an I got pie to comment me badge. I've waited for this day...........
wavves 13
Well, that really blew up in your face… Luck was just not on your side, sorry OP.
daydreamer244 13
If things turn out good then you get a new job and a new drinking buddy! :)
HortonThelephant 15
Just remember your strong spirit(s) will always come back and bite you in the ass.
RedPillSucks 33
That was OPs future boss, not the spirits.
mellingeramber 13
YDI for getting that drunk that you can't tell if he's lying or telling the truth.
perdix 31
How long were you so drunk you can't remember things that it took an hour to recount your antics? Lucky for me, when my memory starts to get sketchy, the vomiting commences soon after. I'm not cut out to be a successful drunk.
Bakarra 22
The feels man... For me it goes 1.Extremely sociable 2. Poor judgement 3. Hysterical 4. drunk text 4. Yack 5. Memory loss 6. Pass out and wake up thinking how pathetic I am when drunk
TheWorldGreatest 8
That can't good!
perdix 31
Do you mean "That can't BE good?" How much have you had to drink?
NoFlippinWai 24
ty for that, Grammer Authority Perdix. It really needed to be recounted what they ment. :)
Enslaved 38
You're probably as good as hired! Most bar goers love having a drinking partner around.
TogeBara 12
he's probably NOT. the fact of reality is that this would show favoritism to the guy he met the other day at the bar. Why do you think most bosses don't hang out with their employees? Legal issues.
Enslaved 38
Depends? I'm a bartender and will tell you I have bosses that take their employees to my job all the time. Most are blue collar workers. Have a few doctors that take their nurses/receptionists out. Matter of fact, I have the owner of a mechanic shop that comes in every Friday-- buys his employees a couple of beers and a few appetizers, pays and leaves. Just because there are rules about not fraternizing with coworkers doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Bosses just need to know whom to trust.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol that's an awkward situation.