Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my son finally stood up to his bully and gave him a smashing that he damn well deserved. I’m desperate to tell him how proud I am, but my wife won’t let me because “we’re not raising a thug” and after 17 years of marriage, I’ve learned arguing with her is pointless. FML
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
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Top comments
timakinz 21
For some reason I was expecting this to end with him bullying you.
lonelyman36 12
Of course you can't, you got married.
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Comments (124)
peacegreen 6
You need to stop your son before he harms a kid & things get worse.
onorexveritas 24
my dad always tells married men "either you want to be happy or you want to be right". he means it as a joke but I think there's truth to it, sadly
jamnglamgirlie 17
If you teach your kid a life long lesson then you will.
meherm 11
What ever happen to getting out the good old wooden spoon and whooping kid's asses?! My parents used that method and it worked, I've learned my lessons! Yall need to stop being so nice because grounding won't do shit to a kid!
FaygoAndMiracles 18
My Mom never hit me, or even yelled at me, and I learned to behave myself through long conversations and respecting my Mom because of the fact that she actually could teach me how to be a good person without using yelling or violence, like a lot of parents seem to be unable to do.
SystemofaBlink41 27
66- yeah maybe it wasn't necessary for YOU, according to what you're saying... But sometimes kids like the ones on this post do deserve the whooping! I was whooped once in a while, and trust me, you think I'd do the same thing again knowing the belt was waiting for me if I did?
xRezSynn 15
You're a married man.
gimmicksz 9
Well least now u know where he gets it from...
randombleeps 11
yer you cant win and it seems you can't find your balls either! grow a pair man
FaygoAndMiracles 18
The phrase "grow a pair" is kind of sexist against men, as it is trying to force heterosexual men into a tiny box of stereotypical masculinity. It's also sexist against women, since it's implying that there is inferiority in anyone who doesn't "have a pair".
Not_Impressed13 9
Oh, grow a pair of ovaries! :-P
Link5794 18
Deck them both in the face, and then deck everybody in the face so it's not domestic violence.
abasham 4
Haha just fight em all!
organolithium_fml 9
Well sorry for you op. And since kids have a special status in Sweden, the choices to dísciplin your kids are limited,
Not_Impressed13 9
The problem today is not enough woodsheds..