Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stole a classmate’s graphic calculator because I couldn’t afford one. She reported it missing to the professor. He wouldn’t let anyone leave class until it turned up. Not even saying I had diarrhea had him let me go. In fact, he told me to empty my backpack right there and then. I’m suspended. FML
Today, I realized the cute guy in my Spanish class only talks to me so he can steal my answers. He asked if I'd give him the answers for the final as well. FML
Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML
Today, I decided to to gather up the courage to ask the cute boy in my math class for his number. He gave it to me, and I texted him later that night. But little did I know he actually gave me the number of the creep in class who is always grabbing my ass. I ended up asking the creep out. FML
Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I got my precalculus final back from my teacher. I got a 17%. I told her that there had to be some mistake, because my classmate had the same answers as me and she got 100%. Not only did I accidentally admit to cheating, but our test papers had different questions. FML
Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Just tell him this: "If you were sin^2x and I was cos^2x, then together we'd make one." Then give him the calculator so he can see for himself.
tabbydionysis 18
Looks like your relationship just doesn't add up!
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Comments (59)
imlifeless2 25
looks like you've been divided.
thehumanlyhuman 7
-insert pun about math here- Tell him that you don't have it, and offer to help find it with him! Good luck, OP!
Uhscanherdarklee 10
Tell him you don't have it and offer to hunt down the calculator thief together...on your first date.
olpally 33
I hate when people assume things like that... What a jerk. :/
twiggy22 7
Ok if you stole it Just be like "oh I'm so sorry I had no idea! I honestly thought it was mine!" And if he gets mad at you than he's an asshole and you too were not meant to be.
aimeegoldberg 22
I cant tell if its part of the comment or not? *two
bsc23 8
Well.. Did you steal it???
steffi90 13
think we need a follow-up on this fml. i, too, am intrigued to find out whether she actually has the calculator or not...
lilRED_13 1
I didn't steal it, guys. AND I offered to let him borrow mine until he finds his...
queerdragon 20
Tell him you don't have it. I would however not try to date someone who accuses you of things without asking first.
jrock9093 18
You still have a chance girl don't fright he's just a ahole there's better hotter men out there
tishtashbat 16
If you didn't take it, tell him!! flirt while you're at it,your chance is not lost. If you did take it, why? As a way to speak to him? Be apologetic but strike up conversation, and don't take his stuff again.
worldclassrager 41
Well make a heart in the graphing function...maybe he'll give you a heart in return....
SJParker 13
Nice picture.