Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

Today, I was beaten up by a complete stranger for “giving her a dirty look.” I can’t see my own face. FML

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

Worst prank ever

Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML

Power move

Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML

Stranger danger

Today, I saw a girl with the same shirt as me. I excitedly pointed it out. She punched me in the face. I didn’t think people actually got mad about that. FML

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

Ouch!

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML