Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, my friend accidentally left her Facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her Facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML
Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
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Top comments
helennaa 0
That's mature. But at least you know now, and you can take preemptive strikes.
AndelleRae 9
No one deserves to be humiliated or treated like shit. Who cares what the OP looks like? She found out her little brother is a douche bag who spends his free time devising plans to humiliate her. That would suck for anyone. Younger siblings can be major assholes, so I'm fairly certain that her little brother isn't pulling this stuff because she's fat.
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Comments (89)
skyeyez9 25
that's ok just launch: "Operation ima change your myspace password and write very gay things in brother's blog and post his embarassing secrets on his myspace page."
perdix 31
As if the world doesn't already know you are a fat cow? I guess your brother and his friend could reach out to the blind community and tell them of your bloated bovinity so they can know what anyone with normal vision can see instantly.
Wet_Dream 0
fatttyyyyyyyy
spazz666 18
U ppl r mean!!! Damn! I mean really, he's a younger brother of course he's gonna do everything in his power to annoy/humiliate his siblings. Jeez people if ur assuming the OP is fat just because of this post then you obviously don't have younger siblings or aren't one yourself.
lissn 0
Operation: Fat Cow instantly reminded me of Everwood
Sparkiee93 3
Well now you know and you can hit the little bitch back x10 as hard. Does he have a cat? Kill it. Does he have a girlfriend? Kill it. No but like chop off his girlfriends ponytail then flush it down your brothers toilet. Spread a gay rumor at his school then come home and out him to your parents the same day. If your brother is old enough to drive take a fresh dead dog (don't ask where you find one, not my problem, roadkill could word) and put a leash and collar on it and you shove the animal under his car and tightly tie the leash to the bumper so he doesn't notice it then when he starts driving and he looks like a mega asshole and could even go to prison. Cover his head in Nair while he sleeps, (when one of his buds sleep over to make sure YOU are not suspected by the rents). Spread rumors to all the kids that your brother is a racist and make up some BS story about shit he says about Black/Hispanic/Asian people. (Remember NOT to get caught by your parents and to stay on their good side!) Make the little fuckheads life a living hell until one of you move out.
lmmmr 0
You are a terrible person with way too much time on your hands.
timtam24 0
o.O
drummer_dude 0
Agreed with #34 but I still found it quite funny :P OP, I almost know how you feel. My little brother sometimes decides to come and annoy me when he is bored and he spreads all sorts of things about me to everyone. Little brothers are the worst :/ and no, it doesn't make you a fat cow, that's what he thinks you are and little brothers almost always say the worst and exaggerate things. I suggest: PREvenge Muhahaha *laughs evilly*
Sparkiee93 3
34 - Pft jealous. In my own defence I love my little own brothers and would never do anything to hurt them and I'll probobly have to raise my favorite brother for the rest of my life since he will never speak or function normally. It's the little bastards like OPs bro who need their damn necks rung.
bored690 0
that is ******* hilarious
MrMoar 0
Just spread a rumor that he's gay. It's probably true, I mean, he DOES still use Myspace...
fakkumairaifu 14
Your username is heartwarming. Now get that little bastard back, but good.
Zoockey 5
I guess he did well so far XD
Tnofic 0
beat. his. ass.