Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. The local anesthesia worked on three of the four teeth. I found out about the last tooth when the dentist was mid-yank. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
melons 44
Oblige him, bite down really hard, then claim you couldn't feel anything.
juliette320 0
if your surgery was half as bad as mine his penis won't be going in your mouth anytime soon, unless he has a pencil sized penis.
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Comments (221)
fmylifeandursifi 1
how did u eat lolz?
ThankfullyNotYou 1
I agree with xNenise. Get rid of that fool.
anonyn_fml 0
you are a weak woman for staying/accepting a guy like that. you ruin it for all women out there.
granolabutt8 7
I'm sorry, but what exactly does that "ruin?" Just because she allows her boyfriend to be a jerk to her means that all men everywhere now have the go-ahead to be a-holes, and there's no way that women can avoid it? Sounds to me like you're just trying to sound like a smarty pants. Try harder. OP, I hope you said no, unless you want dry socket.
Khymera 0
Wow. What an empathetic and unselfish individual your boyfriend is. Or, you know... the opposite.
MiserableDarling 0
Omg there's no way you could stick something like that in your mouth without jacking it up that soon after surgery. Not to mention that you're not supposed to suck (straws or anything) for at least a week after... it can dislodge the blood clots.
e077 15
Well does it?
Purple_Princess0_fml 0
GOOD JOB:) lol
rastacocka 0
well did it work
jjnotantibi 2
I agree with 61, no one is really romantic anymore, but there are great guys out there. Gotta lose somethin to win somethin but its ok
shinrawr 0
stomp 'im in the nuts