jakewr
United States
Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Baltimore, United States
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Doug
United States
Make a scene
Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML
Wheresthecreamfilling
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Smooth talker
Today, instead of my boyfriend calling me 'his Kit Kat' like he normally does, he called me his 'Kit Kat Chunky.' When I asked him why, he said it's because I'm now 20% chunkier. FML
Phoenix0614
United States
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
newlyengaged
Atlanta, United States
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Username
Canada
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Anonymous
Thanks, I hate it
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Anonymous
Miami, United States
Man vs. Machine
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Top comments
DJR_fml 2
Mmmm kitkats
chefinheels88 5
I'd reevaluate your marriage
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Comments (169)
Hootie_95 0
Who wouldn't? I'd be frigging ecstatic!
MellyLuck1484 7
then why did you go through with it? That's stupid.
Cowsxgoxmoo78 8
That makes me sad. It sounds like you need a break.
Comoke1024 19
Then you should have bought yourself kit-kats instead of bonding your life to another human being who probably deserves better.
weenie1234 14
two kit-kats....one wife...the math all adds up
shujaswati 20
Well, the love for KitKat is um-comparable with getting married. KitKat is something "awesome"
bassfisher100 23
at least your priorities are straight. ...
zeffra13 31
Excited does not mean the same as happy, meaningful, or memorable. Unless you got married spur of the moment, or while skydiving, etc, it's not exciting. It's usually been planned for months. Getting something unexpectedly is exciting, a wedding isn't.