Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a brand new down comforter and duvet cover that I really liked. I'd finally managed to put everything the way I wanted it, and then my roommate's dog came and peed all over my bed. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
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Top comments
morgan_5230 0
that is absolutely disgusting! at least you found the butter.
minorixxxx 0
Oh gross >_< Your dog didn't mean it ._.
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Comments (56)
Phallus_fml 0
Sue the dog!!!!!!!!!!!!
that_guy_you_are 0
FYL? Huh? Who doesn't love butter on the bedsheets? Also, #32 = win.
hogbuck 0
Nice pun. Bed "spread."
egaonogenki 0
Another reason why I'll never keep a free-roaming pet. Maybe caged and fishtanked but not a free-roamer like dogs & cats!!!
Peanutlovers 0
least my dog has the courtesy to do that on the floor :]
mother_green7 0
pets aren't worth it. that goes for children too.
bdirrrtyy 0
story of my life.
whomajigi 0
You have a dog. Dog's do and eat stupid stuff. How did he get to the butter unless someone left it out anyway? Give it a rest, it's a hazard of having a dog.
csigabajnok 0
This is what you get when you let your pets into your bed. Pets should sleep on the floor or outside, that's for sure.
Melly18 0
Oh that's so funny, I get so mad when any of my animals have accidents on my bed but I just have to remember that they didn't do it on purpose and they're only sharing the bed with me because they love me. As for #9 and #10 what kind of asshole doesn't let their dog sleep on the bed with them??? Pets are family and should be in a bed just like everyone else....jerks
asherah14 7
Making dogs sleep on their own bed doesn't make anyone an asshole. I've got 3 very happy and spoiled dogs that don't sleep in my bed. They've got a nice plush dog bed a few feet from my bed to sleep on. I don't like my sheets covered in grass, dirt, and dog fur. Plus I'm allergic to my dogs so to keep my sleep quality better, they never get on my bed. But that doesn't make me an asshole or a bad owner.