Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hardcore porn ads inside. I have been getting these since I ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband got some junk mail. My grandma brought the mail in and let my 5-year-old open it because it was just junk. It turns out it was a catalog from an adult toys shop. FML
Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
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Top comments
Silentknight 0
ah, pirate ****. the classics. "Shiver me Timbers" "Walking the Plank" "Jolly Roger" "Yo Ho, Hoe" "Pleasure Island" "Sixteen men and a Redhead's chest"
Compass 0
Argh, wench! Show me yer booty!
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Comments (33)
y3y 0
#3 ROFLMAO, i was about to comment that you knew a lot about it but OTL
danyfuckinheatle 0
I ****** hope you mean a pirated **** video. pirate **** just sounds ******.
ermkrmr 0
17 made my day. :)
FuzzyDice4Lyfe 0
Pirate **** haha ... I've watched that .. and Pirate **** 2 haha they are hilarious
tdawgheath 0
Hahaaha, the name pirate **** is hilarious. Is it like, actual **** or just a comedy?
24788 7
I think he means pirated ****. pirated = stolen
the_schaefini 0
...if it was pirated, he wouldnt have ordered it.
insidejokeswithm 0
There is a thing called pirate ****..sexy pirate costumes? I don't watch it and I can infer that much...
paragiggle 0
Nah, there's a **** called "Pirates" and it's actually pretty hilarious.
redbluegreen 41
Pirate ****? Oh God. This is hilarious though.
jakeistcool 0
yea im wit #5
Makinitez 0
Arrrrgh... ARRRRGH!
Compass 0
Argh, wench! Show me yer booty!
tdawgheath 0
Did you...not read it...? It's ****, they'll literally do ANYTHING to get more money out of you. Just watch that King Of The Hill episode, it's probably true. He didn't even mean to rent the porno, and they sent him a ton of stuff. I guess once you're in the system there's no escape.