Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Out of the blue
Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML
Creeper
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Still a better a love story than Alien vs. Predator
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML
Haunted by you
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Brief encounter
Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML
Time to move on
Today, it's been a year since the girl I'm madly in love with completely cut off all communication with me. She called me crying a year ago, saying she couldn't do the long-distance, unaware I was planning on moving closer to her. Not once has she reached out, and has a girlfriend now. I think about her every night. FML
Rubbing it in
Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML
Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML
I had no idea!
Today, I found out my ex had been writing about our relationship to Postsecret. Apparently, she'd been sorry and wanted me back if I still loved her. I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. I left after 8 months of unreturned texts, calls, emails, and meet-ups. FML
Top comments
nl98 0
Don't take her back?
saucey12 1
please tell me you changed your number or put a block....
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Comments (122)
jakkal 0
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Why is it an FML?
Anteezy 7
This. You should be happy! She wants you, so you can rub it in her face now.
Cristaderzi 0
This is Like that classic Toby Kieth Song!! Yeah throw her back as she obviously trash!!
dmipotc 0
bitches be crazy
Klabauterpete 0
More a FHL, you egomaniac.
xxbloodypoetxx 0
is her name sally???¿
iplaywow 0
i'm not sure but if her name is Sarah, RUN MAN RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maverick1031 0
really dodged a bullet there dude. Be glad she left when she did.
convectuoso88 0
This is more of an F her life... after all, she's the one with all the shit you don't have to worry about now.
zorn___ 0
I watch both FML and IMMD on my Google Reader, and when I read this I thought an IMMD had slipped into my FML feed somehow. Lol
daengh 15
Just answer with "dave's not here, man."
iplaywow 0
also follow up with "this is his lover speaking" that'll make her leave you alone
Hacksaw 4
You should be glad she disappeared on you 8 years ago; sounds like you dodged a cannon-ball sized bullet.