Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML
Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML
Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Get a bug to bite the other boob to even out your organic boob job.
eyepuppy 31
Women will do anything for larger breasts.
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Comments (30)
AndrewNMathews 6
If you want bigger boobs now all you need to do is put a latex bandage on both lol, quick fix and life hack.
devinaww 15
Never thought I would say this, but now I wish a bug would bite my boobs
charleslaatz 7
cover every part of them in bandaids
paytonallyce 7
It was a spider bite not mosquito, and it's been 3 weeks and it's still swollen around the bite
GhostFox 34
Uhm. If it's been that long and is still swollen, you should probably go to the doctor- and if you went closer to when the bite happened, you should at least call. Swelling shouldn't last that long, and the longer it lasts, the more likely it is that something's perpetuating the issue, and it's also possible it could be infected. If a doctor is 100% out of the question, taking allergy medicine like Benadryl, and Tylenol or other anti-inflammatory/fever medication can help manage discomfort. There are also non-prescription steroid creams that can be applied to the bug bite to help reduce itching, inflammation, etc- hydrocortisone cream is the most common- but you have to be careful with them. There's also supposed to be anti-histamine creams, like Benadryl cream, that will help handle the itching and swelling. For more "natural" relief, putting cold on the swollen area should reduce swelling. For itching you can make chamomile-and-green tea (make sure you aren't allergic to chamomile, of course), and either dampen a cloth with it and let the cloth sit on the swollen area, or you could add a small amount of the tea mixture to ground up oat meal- unflavored, mind!- and make a paste out of it and just coat the area with it instead of making sure a cloth stays on. I really feel the need to add that, if it stays swollen for more than a month and you haven't gone to the doctor yet, you really should. Especially if you've had any fevers, chills, unusual soreness of the region, have noticed unusually colored or prominent veins or streaks heading toward or away from any open wounds, or the area around the open wound/where the bite was feels abnormally hot to touch- all of those are symptoms of an infection, which would explain why you were/are still swollen.
Kendrah18 19
Plot twist: you're a dude!
Kurliez408 32
fyl but if you were aware of your latex allergy then half ydi because most bandaids have latex in them.
PixelBlood3 11
That's like a series of disasters
Mudge 11
at least you have bigger boobs now
zaidthunder1 27
A bed bug FML the day I discover a bed bug infestation in my room. Ironic much?
wow2mylife 25
no a spider
Spongegar123 19
Now you're like that chick from total recall! You know. The one with the three boobs.