Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, a creep called me out in the street and asked me why I was in that part of that street, because he "knows " I live in another part of the street, and he found it "odd" that I was there. He was smiling all that time too. FML
Today, my son's first impression of our new neighborhood was to be yelled at by the first kid he tried to introduce himself to, because my son was on the edge of their lawn. Half-an-hour later, I got a lecture at the corner store, because the clerk thinks vaccinations caused my son's autism. FML
Today, I found out everyone in my neighborhood thinks that I'm a beaten woman due to the reoccurring ambulances in front of my house at night. My kid just chokes on everything, and they don't believe me. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my neighbors have been giving me weird looks while whispering to each other lately is because I've started walking my cat on a leash, and this is apparently "a cause for concern about my mental health." FML
Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. It seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "Welcome to the neighborhood!" about these parts. FML
Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Looks like you're going to have to prove you're a good guy. I'd suggest buying candy for all the kids in the neighborhood, but that wouldn't cut it. Make it a van full of candy—oh, and make sure it's nearly windowless to ensure the candy doesn't melt in the sun.
Kermy1113 23
Why the hell would he do that?? That's not something to really play with.
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Comments (46)
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Get revenge. Play a prank on him and have people tell him that a gang of people beat you to death for being a pedophile. He gets pranked and learns that his actions could have unintentional consequences.
weatherxveins 29
That's really immature. Those poor parents are now terrified for their children's safety.
Kukironosuke 16
Tell the police, or bring your brother to court for defamation
militarybrat 21
What the ****? That isnt something you joke about. These are people you have to live near.
Sweet_Melody 15
Why would he think that would be funny to do? What he did could really ruin your reputation.
Mynamewontfi 40
That's a really shitty thing of him to do and can turn out very wrong. Makes me think of reading about a guy who got murdered because people thought he was a pedophile, while he wasn't.
demix_fml 32
Your brother sounds like a class A idiot, that could really cause you some trouble. I hope you stay safe op.
brittanywashere 14
What a dick.
game0ver_fml 18
Wow. That could very seriously affect your life, in a negative way. Gossip like that travels fast. What if his little joke prevents you from getting a job, or gets you jumped and assaulted? Now, even if you can prove it's not true, you're permanently stuck with that stigma. Your brother is a dumbass and a complete ****. Does the legal term "Defamation of Character" mean anything to you?
yankasocky 7
I smell BS