Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML
Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML
Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML
Today, I wasn’t hungover at work for a change, after quitting heavy drinking of 10+ years. My boss accused me of being “high as a kite on drugs”, because I was “suspiciously chirpy.” FML
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrSassypants 34
On the bright side, you'll probably cheer up about that situation very soon with how cheerful you are, buddy.
dude_itskayley 17
I personally feel like in a sense that's a compliment! A lot of people wish they could seem as happy as that I'm sure! Congrats on passing every test, really showed them! :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
tygerarmy 35
For the "random" drug tests at my job, it is randomly everybody who is at work on that day. I'm glad about that because even if my boss wanted to pick on me like yours, my boss would be taking the drug test too.
PleasantDino 22
At my fiancé's occupation they randomly pick like 5 people on the spot
Charles900 16
Everyone requires a drug test if you want to work now. Even so, it's not fair to be singled out just because you look happy. How miserable are your co-workers if being happy means you're under suspicion for drugs?
kingkobrastrikes 13
I don't think this is a FML at all :) that's a good thing! Must mean that you are not only a good worker but proving your boss wrong every time lol WIN-WIN!
ELoni_fml 25
Good for you! And just think, at the end of your career you'll be a pro at peeing in a cup.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
... Damn. You know it's got to be a shitty work environment if they think someone who's actually cheery has to be high.
alexis83188 24
This is not s FYL, you're happy and they're jealous. Do your thing OP!!!
anabanana101 15
Cynical world for ya
CheleGirl 10
Good for you, for being clean?
zman92 13
He is high on life.
Fas4wd 13
That shows what the world is like. Everyone is and must be miserable and illicit drugs is the key to happiness.