Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML
Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML
Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML
Today, I tried to point out to a chap in a van waiting at the lights that his tyre was flat, and that the rim had been spitting sparks all the way down the road. I was told in no uncertain terms, “Mind your own bleedin' business!” FML
Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML
Today, a girl seemed to be tailgating me while I was driving home. I ended up letting her past as I didn’t like it, so I pulled into the next petrol station. She did too, so I thought I’d ask her why she was tailgating me. She asked what I was going to do about it, before kneeing me in the balls. FML
Today, I was driving through a crossroad on the main road. A driver from the right got road rage, as I didn't let him go first. He drove past me and started brake-checking me. After that he followed me over whole city to scream and curse at me in front of my flat. I didn't break any the laws. FML
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, the person I was driving behind put their car in reverse and backed straight into me. I was then yelled at and told, "I had my reversing lights on! Why didn't you move?!" FML
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Top comments
SpankyMcThrust 6
I hate Chavs. And I live in America for Christ's sake.
lunargh 7
In the UK, we don't have gangsta, we have chavvy. Baseball caps, tracksuits, eyebrow piercings, shaven heads and a deep and pressing urge to tack 'innit blud?' (isn't that right, mate?) onto the end of every sentence.
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Comments (64)
donotwantthis 0
was it Lauren Cooper?
Shanny_fml 0
thanks @ 12 ;)
mps1969 8
Now I hate them and I don't even live there it sounds like what we call wiggers here .
coooooojn 0
lol
prjio307 0
Ouch...
WorkThatButt 2
LoL, way to go OP, cus the cars were speeding, not going at normal speed :/ Once my mom and I were watering our lawn, suddenly a speeding lambo comes driving in our neighborhood, my mom threw a mini shovel at the car's windshield :)
pedotroll 0
Arsehole? Just because you say it ****** up doesn't mean you have to spell it that way.
tudor_fml 0
That's how it's spelt. spastic.
Maxine17 8
This is how we spell it in England. And it's not ****** up, there is a culture outside of your own, knobber.
FreeFall11 0
@ #28 Right, because an accent means the words are '****** up'. British people could say the same about you, and everyone I know says and writes it as 'arsehole'.
pedotroll 0
you're pretty hot for a snobby english bitch. show us your ****.
joshhh11 0
@31, your words are wasted on somebody ignorant like that :)
Maxine17 8
Oh yeah Pedotroll, let me just whip them out after you insult us...(Y)
pedotroll 0
sweeeeet.
repyourcliche 0
#28, three words for you - sucks to be, adding a fourth, you. the real world, mate... it's what some people live in. other cultures do exist, you may think america is the whole world, but it's not.
pedotroll 0
nobody asked you. douche. now leave me alone. I'm busy jerking off, while imagining miss hot thing showing me her **** while reprimanding me in a pompous English accent. I may just finish off by sticking my finger in my "arse". yeah, that's the good stuff.
Moore1 0
That's how we spell it arsehole. America isn't the only country you know.
Maxine17 8
Oh for christ sake. Good thing I'm sat here in England really, then, isn't it?
Ukjames1993 0
Arsehole is how you spell it in England. it's just that you Americans can't seem to spell some words so you change their spelling to make it easier for you.
jimbeam1 0
@29 but umm Jews are good with money LOL show me a broke Jew and I'll take it back hahaha
JohnByeBye 0
That came out wrong. LOL
Postlude 1
I'm Jewish and I have $3.33 in my checking. Cool? Cool.
Postlude 1
Ooooh I lied, I have $4.33! (I have nothing in Savings, no cash, or anything else either. I have to make it to work on E tomorrow so I can put gas in my car after I get paid. (: )
pedotroll 0
just like a Jew to lie. first you lie about the "holocaust", now this.
jamieboy11 0
lol nice ther u go way think with ur gut wut wer u doing tht for in the first place!
ndgiang84 0
i do cherish you