Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They simply reacted by lecturing me about how much he'll ruin my life, and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML
Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "Find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my parents' entire marriage was a convoluted scheme to get them both permanently unfit to stand trial. I am genuinely scared to find out what they have planned. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Don't worry about it... hopefully the investigator is just taking your parents' money and isn't even watching you. He just reports once a month that you haven't been killed or raped yet.
AyeItsMobleyy 0
well, did he rape or kill you?
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Comments (115)
penflower 0
oooooh that sucks
MykeLytorus 0
people trying to be first and failing is funny...
TheWhiteDemon 0
whoknows maybe thats how your parents got together
SeanFredrick 3
op you'll be sorry when he rapes and kills you after the PI leaves
Melaniee_fml 0
your parents really have some issues.
XFlyingxPiranhaX 0
just pay the PI not to follow him. he'll want the money, probably.
food9279 0
lol
bigblue95 0
just bc ur 25 doesnt mean ur boyfriend doesnt have the ability to rape u. theres even a higher chance at that age rather than a 16yr old relationship
thatrandombadass 0
so much for privacy!
misti_csi 0
I agree, WTF!
Daerauko 0
just have sex with your BF... then it isn't rape. you can just have rough sex
JohnGraveline 0
It could happen. If you wanted.
allenrotstein 0
Some parents just have issues.. They think they are doing the best for you, but they are actually just screwing things up. Pack your stuff, leave and don't look back.
Cupcakeshizz 0
LOL tries to rape you
maliger 0
omg it's mercy aaaaaaah! I'M LIKE YOUR BIGGEST FAN EVAAAAAAR! mercy will you make babbies with me?
Guuurlplease 0
He could be a rapist....
suppressed08 2
You should totally get the investigator involved in your lives. it makes their job easier and you now have a new friend:) I've no idea why but the idea of making him your friend reminds me of Friends.
KiddNYC1O 22
good for you, 72
juddy5 0
time to call Joey Greco
mcrepas 19
72 you're a cute one!
jnloving 1
wow fyl
jnloving 1
wow fyl
ThatGuyWithHair 0
So? "Some douchebag's parents hired me to keep an eye out for a girl's boyfriend. The idiot hasn't attempted rape or murder yet. FML"
unafred 0
that really suxs... first !!!!
quent10 0
so tell me sir how does it feel to have failed so greatly? does it embarrass you that commentors will ROFLWAFFL at your lack of success?
rallets 23
i like waffles
heartbrokenemo 0
I like pancakes.
idkmyusername 0
i like french toast
idkmyusername 0
i like ur mom
unafred 0
feels like a bitch feels like this should be my fml...... lol
PatRme 9
combo breaker
justsayfuck 5
Damnit. Ignore this comment or try to find something useful in it. Good luck.
HeroOfMi 0
ydi 39
Cupcakeshizz 0
I really like scrambled eggs on pancakes :')
MiguelDidWhat 0
I really like scrambled tissue on my window
Brittney_E 0
waffles!! #<('-'<)
PizzaGuy11 0
i like waffles and pancakes with sum OJ :P
AyeItsMobleyy 0
well, did he rape or kill you?
sourgirl101 29
Not yet.
Supersonic54 18
2 that's a fail lol better luck next time
unafred 0
while I was typing my comment someone upload there comment :( damn iPod keeps freezing
VW_4_Life 0
I would flip shit if my parents did that. Now you should hire a private investigator to watch your parents all the time.
stilettogoddess 0
Or OP should put on a little show for the PI and scare the Hell out of her parents.
CableX17 0
^this
DontGuessMyName 5
Better yet, hire the same private investigator.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Jeez, move far away. Your parents are crazy
crazyaces89 7
that's taking overprotective to a whole new level...jeez
danilo16 0
how about telling your parents to f@&$ off! cmon your 25
dummydory 4
I wonder if they've done that with all the boyfriends you've had in the past.
XxFallenbladexX 0
You're parents need to get a life. Seriously, get a restraining order from them, you're too old to be controlled like that
fawfulster 11
"You are parents need to get a life" = what you just said. THIS, people, is why we need to spell things correctly.
SpaceMannn 0
overprotective parents + you having a bf + an investigator = your bf being a suspicious rape suspect.