Today, I found out that I'm not welcome at my boyfriend's dad funeral, because his ex-wife has invited herself, and it would be too awkward to explain to his extended family, most of whom apparently don't yet know that he's divorced. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML
Today, I attended my boyfriend's funeral. His entire family never accepted me and hadn’t spoken to him in 4 years. I had to listen to his brother give the eulogy, and every word out of his mouth about my boyfriend was a lie. They barely knew him, yet I could only sit in the back of the church, alone. FML
Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was not welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML
Today, there's a family reunion in my parents' backyard. I'm not invited because my Mom, Dad, Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents are upset that I'm divorcing my ex-husband. Apparently, trying to kill me doesn't matter since he's funny, always made excellent barbecue chicken in past reunions, and everybody loves him. FML
Today, my soon to be ex-husband and ex-mother in law informed me I couldn't go to the funeral of a really good friend we shared. I went anyway, but I can't imagine how the divorce is going to go. FML
Today, I arrived at my best friend's wedding and found out that my invitation was no longer valid. His brother tried to explain that they'd decided to make the ceremony for family members only, then two our classmates popped out to say hello. They're not related, neither to my friend nor to his fiancée. FML
Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML
Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a year went to a wedding. He didn't invite me, he took his ex instead. I saw it all on Instagram. FML
Today, my family and my fiancée's family met each other and my worst fear came true. My asshole dad found out my fiancée's dad is a reverend and his first sentence was, "How's the molestation business these days?" It didn't take long before a brawl erupted and we were kicked out. I'm cutting him off for good. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
That actually makes tons of sense. It didn't before I spent a few solid hours banging my head against a wall, but now it's clear as day.
feme_fatale 19
Too awkward? What is he 5? He should be able to tell them about his love life and you should be worth the awkwardness that he is worried about.
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Comments (33)
Juls464 10
He should man up about telling them, but his dad just passed, you're not the priority. It's a funeral not a party
nix1993 41
We don't know how long they've been together or how close OP was to her boyfriends father. I went to the funeral of my ex's father last year even though we were only together for 9 months and broke up 2 year ago, I was extremely close to his parents and kept in touch after we broke up. It would be enough of a kick in the teeth being told you aren't welcome at the funeral, but it's not difficult to deduce that if he doesn't want to tell his extended family that he's divorced he and his ex wife are likely to pretend they are still together. That's enough to make you feel like total crap.
dkhae 4
You sure he's divorced?
corky1992 33
invited herself? im pretty sure anyone can go to someone's funeral if they knew the person..its actually respectful that she's going..but i see some red flags on his part though.
Dat_Class_Tho 26
I personally have never been to a funeral without being directly invited. If the departed was like a second father to the ex-wife, I can see why she would want to go. But the fact that she wasn't invited would suggest that she wasn't that close with her in-laws. There may have even been some animosity if it was a very contentious divorce. In which case, her showing up is really just an excuse to try and insert herself back into her ex-husband's life. And exploiting grief to stalk an ex is one of the most scum-baggish things you can legally do. Of course, OP's boyfriend could just be lying about being divorced. Which is also a major scum-bag move.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Or the father-in-law was the only member she still got on with after the divorce. I can easily see a bunch of people who are telling OP that she can't come being similarly nasty to the ex-wife. There's nowhere near enough info in the FML to know what is going on.
RichardPencil 32
What are you complaining about? I'd take any excuse to miss a funeral. Everyone is sad and you have to talk about the dead as if they were great, when they could have been boring, or worse, a prick.
Baron_Kaz 15
Who moderates FML....? How come this piece of garbage got through???
caliguy08 17
Get out of that relationship. He should have been comfortable bringing you to the funeral rather than pretending to still be married to his ex just to safe face with extended family that he obviously never sees.
smartjaguargurl 17
Wait, your boyfriend's ex or his dad's ex? Your grammar confuses me.
Core5555 9
Unless you knew, and felt strongly about, your bf's dad then your role as gf should be "support" at this point. I suppose you can demand that the day be all about having your bfs family recognize you as rightful current gf. You could make this all about how you can't go, or demand your bf tell his family. Or you can just take a day off and let your bf deal with a tragic situation in whatever manner he finds least stressful for him. Afterward you can discuss with your bf why none of his family know he's divorced and how you plan to deal with that.
MmmPinkTacos 11
OP noticing the red flags waving in her face is not her being selfish or making the day about her. Quit trying to shame her for having a spine. And take a day off? Seriously?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
His family do know. His extended family don't know. Without knowing how close the guy is to his extended family this could mean anything from cousins he sees every day to people he gets a Christmas card from once a year.
everton99 16
The incorrect grammar in this post is really eating at me.
Dat_Class_Tho 26
This is why you shouldn't wait until large family gatherings to give people bad news. Because you either chicken out and spend the day lying to family (like OP's boyfriend) or risk making your bad news the focus of the day (when it really shouldn't be). It's a no-win situation all around. Divorce is a lengthy process, so he's had MONTHS to break the news. Unless he's lying about being divorced in the first place (which is even worse). Either way, this whole thing could have been prevented with a little honesty.