Today, my relationship with my family is so bad that when someone burst into my house without ringing the doorbell, my first assumption was, "Oh God I hope it's not my mum visiting!" rather than, "Oh God, it's a burglar!" It was actually my mother-in-law, and I was truly relieved. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my in-laws surprised us with an unannounced visit. I was in the middle of my weekly self-care routine, which includes a green face mask, curlers, and a bathrobe. When I opened the door, they looked horrified and my mother-in-law whispered, "Is this a bad time?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Depends, do you believe in aliens?" FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
I'm sure she was relieved too. After all, you bought her mother-in-law disguise. She was able to rob your house with ease after wondering whether or not the cheek pinching and attempts to ground your spouse took it too far.
thepeniswrinkler 14
Well, at least you don't have family issues and burglary issues
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Comments (12)
thepeniswrinkler 14
Well, at least you don't have family issues and burglary issues
naivemisanthrope 4
My sympathies; I moved five states away from my mother and still worry about her tracking me down and showing up out of nowhere.
Tripartita 45
Five states away? That'll really help me refine my search radius, honey.
RememberSchlitz 9
Lock the door?
saracenslament 8
We were waiting on food to arrive, so I had the door unlocked so I wouldn't have to mess around with it.
Konarika 11
Well a burglar wouldn't "burst" into your house, so that one was kinda obvious...
ChiefKoala 30
Are you sure about that mate? Like. Are you really sure? That maybe the burglar would've assumed the door was locked without trying the knob and just busted the door open?
TacoTheDank 27
Yeah, because all burglars are kind enough to knock on the door and wait, whether there's a car in the driveway or not.
ChiefKoala 30
Knowing my crippling anxiety i would probably be the ONE to knock and politely ask to rob them. because ya know, i wouldn't want to bother them or anything.
Tripartita 45
I'm sure she was relieved too. After all, you bought her mother-in-law disguise. She was able to rob your house with ease after wondering whether or not the cheek pinching and attempts to ground your spouse took it too far.
TacoTheDank 27
The next question to ask is why did your mother-in-law burst into your house without ringing?
saracenslament 8
Probably because we don't ring when we go to hers, though it'd be hard to since they don't have a doorbell lol.
TacoTheDank 27
lol, it's a taste of your own medicine
b1uejay 5
Honestly in the exact position with my family (mainly my mom).
calvingage 7
was she drunk?
Birdie27 11
Could have been the Kool aid man. Oh Yeah!
TheLadyOpal 30
Nah, the Kool-Aid Man doesn't even bother with the door if there's a perfectly good wall he can smash through instead.
daryllim95 18
It's your house right? How about getting a door that locks? Maybe that would keep them out.