Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that me and the wife have visited. Which is OK I suppose (providing we never see each other there) but he told me his parents go there too. FML
Today, my boyfriend let me in on a little family secret. His brothers often swap girlfriends and wives. They insist it’s not weird because the siblings themselves aren’t doing anything together, just the in-laws. It’s still too close for comfort and too weird to ignore. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I introduced our parents to each other, and they seemed to have already met somewhere, so I asked them about it. At first they seemed shifty, then guilty, then admitted everything. They’ve actually known each other for decades as part of the same swingers group. FML
Today, due to my parents divorcing 30 years ago, marrying other people, and giving me a handful of half siblings, I found myself in the uniquely unpleasant situation of walking in on my sister having sex with my brother. (Stop panicking, they’re not blood related to each other, work it out!) FML
Today, I learned that not only is my husband having an affair with my own mother, but my whole family knew. They were keeping it a secret from me for 3 months. FML
Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML
Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his girl bestie for 4 years. I also found out he's been having threesomes with his male bestie. Both people have been around me and my family this entire time. We've been married for 15 years. Joke's on me. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Darth_Taco 14
Oh wow...what do you even say to that? Well, when it comes time to leave home, I suggest you and your brother go far away XP.
Smiley_70 22
OK - things like this - you don't need to know about your folks. Best thing is to realise it is their issue to deal with - nothing you can do. Just be glad you haven't walked in on them!
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Comments (146)
Pastor_Rich 0
your parents are freaks
zargon 1
You're a freak! Okay, probably not, but the point is that you are making an unfair judgment on people you don't know for having a healthy-sounding sex life that includes aspects that you don't wish to incorporate into your own.
stephan18 23
They're freaks, good kind!
wroughtinfire 0
Hey, they kept it from you, their kid, which shows that they were very responsible about it. Way to go your parents. But, maybe you didn't want to hear about it, so I suggest ice cream and humming to yourself when you think of it.
rightsaidred 3
They couldn't be very responsible about it if the whole damn town knows...
DoomedGemini 38
Or they don't mind ADULTS knowing. Kids knowing == adults knowing
UseTheFrags 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If the third's a woman, your dad's a ledge! If the third's a man, your mum's a *****.
AmberHall 2
And you are a judgemental fool. What difference does it make for it to be a man or women. I clicked FYL not for the threesome, but for the fact they weren't told
Delilahlilah 0
#19, people like you piss me off! How the hell does it make her a ***** if it's a man? If it's a girl than it very well makes the dad a ***** too! Idiotic reasoning. They're not ******, they just like something different.
JessTrek 0
Whatever floats their boat. Then again, if everyone else knew they were probably talking about you and your family behind your backs. For that, FYL.
Victoria_fml 0
Yeah, so ? None of your business, they aren't doing anything bad...
AmberHall 2
Yeah but children are generally sensitive not only to what their parents do, but how it reflects on them. The parents have a right to a sex-life, but if what happens behind their closed doors is known throughout the town, then they have to accept that perhaps they are prejudicing their children's happiness as well. The real FML is not the threesome it's the fact that (a) the kids did not know and (b) everyone else in the town knows
Victoria_fml 0
Yeah I understand what you say. But if that prejudices the children's happiness, it means that the people in their town are really close-minded... And I think it's quite a good thing that the kids did not know. I personally don't want to know anything about my parents' sex life.
eggbrtshootsfire 0
Maybe they knew that if they told you, you'd feel like your life was f'd and therefore post about it on the internet.
MeMeMe123455 0
Their name is Pastor Rich. What did you expect?
diet_otaku 0
oh god, hasn't this guy left comments on other posts about "save sex for marriage" and other bible-thumping bullshit? no wonder he's bigoted against his parents' sexual preferences. sounds to me like his parents could stand to teach him a thing or 2 about being more open-minded.
graceall 0
you think that sucks.. try having your parents divorce at age 12 and your new step daddy watch you while you undress.. and i am a man.. WTF?? I would rather have my parents be freaks then having some dude watch me undress and then turn around doing my mother. and she did not believe me..
AmberHall 2
Uh if that happened then you really need to tell someone. Honestly, don't let it go further. Try talking properly to your mother, and if it ever happens again, lock the door and tell someone you trust
Ughsucks 0
lmfao nice advice idiot. If you're 12 and your stepfather is watching you while he's doing your mom you have too many problems for someone you "trust" to solve... I suggest releasing some chlorine gas into their bedroom in the middle of the night.
angeleyes8675309 7
And that kind of advice is just where teen suicide or homicide comes from, idiots like you. Thanks for further damaging our youth and blaming the victim.
fortywhacks 0
...and the problem is?
perfectgrl6971 0
Haha wow..well at least your parents know how to spice it up =P haha.. I'm wondering though if when they were doing it they made you years and years ago..? haha:) hmm