Should have added Just, then it would've been more funnier

"Whatever happened in the past should stay in the past." That sentence really made me shiver. It's not that she cheated on him ten years ago, it's just a half year past, in the same year as their wedding. Who cares about the vows when you can't trust your own partner? Really, I don't get the 'they took vows, so a cheating wife isn't a big deal, OP has to endure it for the sake of their marriage' bullshit. "Marriage vows don't encompass what happened before the marriage" Tell that to his current STD's.

I agree with the marriage part. It happened and then maybe she realized it was wrong and stopped and made the choice to be entirely faithful to him. It was absolutely wrong to cheat in the first place but marriage is not like dating. You can't just walk away. None of us know all the details so it's not like we can say Oh she's a ***** who just wanted to wedding. Maybe she did it and did feel horrible and realized she loved him and does want to be with him for the rest of her life. AND he never said he had STDs or anything like that. STDs don't come from cheating, they can come from a faithful relationship too if one partner has them from a previous relationship.

The post as I read it said she cheated before he proposed. We do not know the specifics of the relationship, but it is entirely possible that maybe SHE didn't believe the relationship at that point was at that level. It is possible that him proposing made her feel that the relationship had reached that level and her level of commitment to him had improved. Regardless of how he felt about her at the time, months before the proposal, she may not have reached the same deepness of feeling for him that she had at the time she accepted his proposal. Dating is not the same as an engagement and marriage is something even more. Get some years under your belt and quit being quick to judge. Some people's feelings can change abruptly for the better, as maybe did her priorities and commitments. She could have remained silent, but instead chose to not harbor any secrets from her husband and their marriage. OP may feel betrayed, but the relationship hadn't progressed far enough at the time of her indiscretions.

I'm sorry because I absolutely believe in the sanctity of marriage and you stick I out and work through it EXCEPT in cases of cheating or abuse. It doesn't matter if it was before they said "I do". She didn't love him then. She might now, but cheating is the ultimate slap in the face and is truly unforgivable and you don't do that to someone you love. If my husband confessed to cheating on me, I'd slap him while reaching for the phone to call my lawyer. You can never ever ever trust someone again after that no matter what. For better or for worse does not cover infidelity. There's no excusing it. It's not a mistake. It's a big "**** you" to your partner and shouldn't be forgiven.

It doesn't matter if they were just dating at the time. You don't cheat. If you're with someone, you're with only them whether dating, engaged, or married unless your partner specifically says "go **** whoever you want". If she didn't feel all that committed at that time, she should've broken up with him if she wanted to screw around. Then when he proposed to her she should've confessed if that was what she needed to take their relationship to the next level. She probably wanted to wait until they were married so it wouldn't be as easy for him to leave but it doesn't matter if that's the reason or not. The fact of the matter is she was in a relationship with a man and cheated on him. There's no excusing that.

In this case it's not just hurt pride. She cheated three times. The trust is broken, and she is probably not being honest about how often or when. On top of that he probably feels that he doesn't even know her. I'm sure he didn't think he was marrying someone who would cheat on him. I believe in the vows taken when you get married ,but I also belive that it is better to end a marriage than be in a faithless, unhappy marriage.

"marriage is not like dating. You can't just walk away." Oh, yes you can. It's a bit harder with the lawyers and paperwork, but yeah, you can walk away from a bad marriage. "We do not know the specifics of the relationship, but it is entirely possible that maybe SHE didn't believe the relationship at that point was at that level. It is possible that him proposing made her feel that the relationship had reached that level and her level of commitment to him had improved" Seriously? September 2011: I do not know whether my relationship will last, so I will hook up with that fancy guy from my work. My boyfriend-who-I-don't-love-that-much will never know. November 2011: Wiiii, my partner proposed! Now I finally feel that deep connection between our two that will make me faithful and our marriage forever lasting!" Again: seriously? Again: if she did it ten years ago, then I would understand your 'she's changed, give her some credit' point of view. But it's friggin' five months ago. She should have left her husband when she wanted that other guy. She should have denied his proposal. She should have told him the truth. But no, she cheated, married and three months after that, she told the truth and became a reliable, trustful wife who doesn't deserve to be left alone.

Maybe until he proposed she didn't think he was serious so she wasnt being serious about the relationship either? To my mind unless you have talked and agreed to be totally monogamous, the expectation is you are both free to date others too, as it's just dating.

See, and I think the other way around. If you're just going to casually date multiple people that's one thing but you need to make sure that both people understand that, and that's when you're not boyfriend/girlfriend. If you start calling him your boyfriend and he starts calling you his girlfriend, unless you say "go **** whoever you want", you're only supposed to be with him/her. Call me old fashioned but when I was dating someone (I'm married now), I wasn't doing anything with anyone else out of respect for the other person.